How thankful are you for what you have? Seems like a weird question I know. I don’t know about you, but it’s easy for me to get hung up on what I don’t have, or what I’m missing, instead of thinking about how blessed I am, I have a friend in the hospital right now, dealing with some very serious issues. Issues that you wouldn’t think about having to deal with in your 30s.
I have another friend who fights through pain everyday, and does it with smile. I have a wheelchair yes, but in all other aspects of my life, including my health, I am extraordinarily blessed. It’s very easy for me to lose track of that. It takes some serious wisdom and patience to learn to be content with where you are in life. No matter how tough your life is, you probably have something you can be thankful for. I have learned that if I don’t reflect on what I’m thankful for on a regular basis, the pressures and darkness of everyday life can overtake me, Today I am thankful for being healthy. I’m also thankful for good friends and family who I know love me. What are you thankful for?
Image can be found here
Today I’m thankful for a whole lot I have written on here previously and I was explaining the horror I been putting myself threw for along time but I mentioned how the past two years have been a roller coaster of just trying to stay sober. I was also stating how I just got out of rehab that I chose to put myself in and at the time of this event I had just lost everything my kids,my job,my relationship,my apartment my sense of belonging as person in this world. Once I lost my kids my entire purpose in life was ripped from me it was actually not good cause it for awhile made me worse for the simple fact I no longer had responsibility.I no longer had my at the time only reason for living at the point when I decided enough is enough I really didn’t care if I lived or died I don’t really have family I had at that point no job my career I had made for myself at on point definitely no longer existed my relationship was a mess and then the worst my 2most important people the girls that always make me feel wanted and important were gone. I want o let you know that I had made the decision to put my girls with there grandparents at this point because I didn’t feel like I deserved them at that point and they also deserved way more then I was capable due to my condition to give. So long story short I reliZed I had been beating myself up and destroying my worth as a person and being extremely selfish to all the people who cared about me (even if it was only my little girls)I couldn’t take it anymore I stopped the madness and went away to rehab to learn how to live without the use of drugs And now I’m striving everyday towards staying sober and becoming a better mother, friend , lover,daughter and now everyday I have to keep in mind that person I once was is still in there and that being an addict isn’t curable it will never go away its genetic I never stood a chance I can never think for one second that it’s ok to do in moderation for me my addict self has no idea what that means. So everyday I write down what I am great full for today it’s this website and being able to share my stories with people who are like me whether you were addicted to drugs or things or stiff it’s all the same an addict is an addict is an addict. I also am greatful everyday that I’m alive….. That aside from everything bad I have done and put myself threw physically and mentally I am still able to talk walk and think on my own. That the damage I have caused my loved ones and children Atleast I am alive and sober and here still to fix and make mine and our lives better.
Thank-you for listening
Sincerely yours
Full of gratefulness!!!
Thanks so much for reading. Feel free to write anytime