There is a certain expectation for the behavior of people in wheelchairs. I have a loud and outgoing personality at times. This isn’t accepted well by many people. There are those who believe my personality is a cover-up for some sort of insecurity when they first meet me, but this really is just the kind of person I am. Just because I’m in a wheelchair doesn’t mean that I am quiet and shy, or that I am always “Mr. Nice Wheelchair Guy”. People with disabilities are unique individuals just like the rest of the world, and thusly have unique personalities. When it comes right down to it, I’m just a guy and I’m just going to say it out loud, I love women.
I don’t pretend to know everything about everything. For example, I am clueless when it comes to women. I struggle with women. I have zero control over the dating portion of my life. Even in friendships with women, I am completely baffled.
Women enjoy availability. But not when you are TOO available.
Women enjoy when you are sweet to them, but not TOO sweet. There’s a thin line between sweet and desparate.
Women enjoy attention, but too much attention makes them call you “overbearing” and “stalkerish”.
Women often say they want honesty and a straightforward answer to things, but DO NOT EVER tell her the truth! The moment you tell her that your favorite part about her looks is a body part below the chin, you are in the doghouse.
I know there is a line drawn between too available and not available enough, too little attention and stalker-ish. As a man, I am completely unaware of where that “line” is drawn. I seem to always fall on the far side of the line.
“I know what we are doing next year for your birthday if I get to be a big star!”
“You’re doing it again.”
The communication gap between men and women is well documented if you put her wheelchair in the mix it gets to be even more fun.
All jokes aside I feel like human beings have a hard time communicating with each other. When I’m out in public I feel like a three ring circus. I’m always being watched. I assume this is because people have questions about my situation and are afraid to ask. Instead they try to avoid catching my eye and in extreme cases, act like I’m invisible. I’ll never forget going through on airport with a very close friend of mine. Every airport employee that we met, who had a question regarding my flight or my luggage, came to him and completely overlooked with me as though I wasn’t there. Finally after several instances of this, he looked at me and said “dude, why don’t they talk to you, especially when the question has to do with you? I said very simply they are afraid. We live in a politically correct society and no one wants to make a mistake by saying or doing the wrong thing, especially with a guy in a wheelchair. I told my friends jokingly that some of those people were probably afraid that if I got agitated, I might have a seizure right in the middle of the airport. It sounds absurd, but after years of observation I truly believe that people don’t engage someone that they are unsure of in any way. I should have Women wanting dates in a line from my door going on the way around the block. Think about it. They would have a great parking everywhere we went. They would never have to stand in line, because well…. I bring my own chair and would never get upset about a pretty girl in my lap. They would also have someone always willing to hold their purse. I’m already in the wheelchair, so no other man is going to make fun of me for holding a woman’s purse. Even if it’s pink and has hello Kitty on it. I’d love to run a social experiment. Put Tom Brady or Derek Jeeter in a chair, roll camera, and just see what happens. The results might surprise us all. Would you guys watch that? I know I would.