Category Archives: Motivational

My ego gets big and then I remember I can’t tie my own shoes

jj-humble

I have never lacked self-confidence. I have spent more hours in my life making plans to be great then I care to admit. World class speaker, a comedian who can fill a stadium, Rock star. You name it, I’ve probably dreamed it. I often think that God gave me cerebral palsy because it was the only way he could thing to keep me in check. If I were able I will be unstoppable. I have a dream everyday, but I also have some unpredictable side effect of cerebral palsy to keep me on earth. Muscle spasms, physical inadequacies or challenges are always there and they don’t play nice.

There’s nothing more humbling in life then realizing you need someone’s help to get to the restroom. It’s a constant reminder that maybe I’m not such a big deal.

I’m not writing this post didn’t complain about all of my issues. I actually think to make the most out of life, you have to be humble. My mom used to say when I was younger, that is my head were any bigger, I would have trouble getting through a door, she doesn’t say things like that much anymore. I think most of the things that keep me humble now, were not issues for me when I was 20. I’ve also gotten smarter and learned to listen to the good people in my life more often. Sometimes I’ll listen and decide to do things my own way anyway, but being humble enough and willing to listen gives me more options and potential for less mistakes. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m old enough now to know the fewer mistakes I can make the better. Having cerebral palsy always reminds me that the most important thing in life is people because I will always need them to survive. I get frustrated often because I need so much help, but I hope in the long run that being humble, and having respect in everything that I do, will lead to a full and prosperous life that I can be proud of when it’s over.

What keeps you humble in your life?

Thanks to Evie for helping me to do so much everyday, including today’s comic.

Would you like some fun with that?

jj-drivethrough

When I was in college and on the radio in the mornings, I actually went through a McDonald’s drive-through in my wheelchair. One of cohosts on the show actually walked beside me to see the whole thing unfold, while talking to the listeners on a cell phone. That was maybe the most fun I ever had on the morning show.

The McDonald’s employees weren’t happy with me. I actually think I might have been banned from there for about six months. I had a car, it was just parked down the block. We just wanted to see what what happened. No real reason for doing it other than the fact that it was entertaining. So what’s my point with this post? Have fun, put yourself out there and see what happens. This was not the only crazy thing I did on the radio. I dressed up as Cupid for Valentine’s Day one year(that’s a whole other story) my reason for doing all that was because it was fun. My cohosts and my bosses were initially worried that I might be offended by putting myself in those types of situations where my wheelchair was the focus. I wasn’t. I had a blast and I would do it all again. I haven’t had nearly as much fun since I got out of school. I have several really enjoyable projects on the horizon that I will tell you about later, that may remedy that situation. Life is what you make it stand out and enjoy it.

What’s the craziest thing you have ever done just for fun?

Evie doesn’t even blink when I tell her the stories anymore. I think she’s becoming desensitized to my nuttiness. Best Vice president ever. Did I mention that she has a new website? Go check it out.

Being different is a gift use it

jj-different

I’m different. There’s no way to hide it or disguise it. I Also can’t change it. Every so often I think about what I miss out on because I’m different. Not being able to play sports, drive a car, go to bed when I choose, or 1 million other things that normal people take for granted every day. Most of the time however, I really like being me. I have some advantages that most of you never will. I got my education paid for because I have cerebral palsy. No student loan debt for this guy. Living with my parents seems like a real drag, but it has allowed me to save money and given me time to formulate my plan for taking over the world. I’ve never had a real job. This makes finances unpredictable sometimes, but it also means that my time is my own. I don’t answer to anyone. I’m single and I get lonely sometimes. I used to think I wanted a wife and family, but as I get older I’m starting to understand that unlike most people I’m in control of my own destiny.

When I come up with the million dollar idea that finally pans out, my life will be my own. I’m free to follow my dreams and be who I want to be. I am not there yet mind you, I have to remind myself on a daily basis that there is a plan and my time is coming. One thing that my freedom allows me to is to work with a person like Evie. I don’t know if you can tell or not from the way that I write, but Evie and I truly enjoy working together. We have some ideas that I won’t go into here, because we are not ready to unleash them on the world just yet, but we wouldn’t even have the ability to dream the way we do if we had “normal lives” I love cartoons and comic books and video games. I love to be creative. I love to give to people, sometimes I buy someone a gift on a random day just because I can. I get to act different because I am different. My life and circumstances will never be normal. At this point, I think I would be disappointed with normal. I sort of see myself as Bruce Wayne, (yes I know I haven’t made the money yet, but I will totally have a Batcave under my house).

I have to be honest and say that I didn’t have this attitude about being different until fairly recently. For most of my life, I have wanted the things that most people have. Recently I realized I can have things and freedom that most people only dream of, because my life is different. I have to tell you that being aware of the fact that my life is different and because of that I can be different is very empowering. When I was in high school I remember teachers and guidance counselors saying things like ” you can be anything you want to be” if there are any kids out there reading this, I’m here to tell you that it’s actually true. I’m not quite where I want to be yet, but I still have time to get there because my life is my own. Being different allows you to make your own rules. If I had realized that in my teens, there’s no telling what I could have accomplished. Life can be whatever we want it to be. We have all been given the ability to choose our own path, and spend our lives in the way we see fit.

If you haven’t lived your life your way, you can start today. There is still time.

 

How will you be different? What will you do?

Thanks to Evie for helping me share my crazy different life with you and for being my vice president in my efforts to take over the world.

If you like what we’re doing here, you can support our work by sharing this blog or by donating using the PayPal button on the right side of the page, your support is greatly appreciated.

 

If clothes are necessary why can’t they be easier to put on?

jj-gettingdressed

I need a lot of help getting dressed. I can put on her shirt if I need to. Tt may take a half-hour, but I can get it done. I can take a shirt off like a champ. Again, it takes a bit of time but not near as much as putting a shirt on. Pants are a different story. Again, I can get them off if I have to(ladies there is probably a joke in there somewhere about no man that God ever made having a problem taking his clothes off) I really   hate to admit, but taking them off is much easier,(and more fun then putting them on. Same deal with shoes, I can catch my shoe on the edge of the foot rest on my chair and get it off. If you have little children you may have to help them get dressed, but they have no problems taking their clothes off. Then they will certainly need help tying their shoes, but you need a GPS locator to keep track of them in public. I don’t wear slip on shoes for that exact reason, they come off too easily. Think of me in that way, the only difference between me and them is that I’m 37 with facial hair.

Getting dressed every day is something that I struggle with mentally. I have the brain and body of an adult, but it works so poorly that I have to have help dressing just like a young child. That’s tough to deal with. What tougher, is that I’ve had physical therapists my entire life, and none of them have never found an easy way for me to help myself. It seems like I always have someplace to be or is there some sort of time crunch, so taking an entire day to try and figure out how best to dress myself has never been an option. Not to mention taking several months to actually get good at it. My family helps me everyday with everything that I need. They have trouble watching me try to learn how to do something simple like put on pants. After some time passes, I often hear “just let me help you”

I’ve never even seen a good way to put on pants for someone in my situation I know people must do it, but given my physical shortcomings, I have never really figured it out.  I feel like I need some futuristic device from a science fiction TV show, that I can roll my chair into and get help dressing while a pleasing female voice helps me decide exactly what I want to wear. I have to admit I don’t work nearly hard enough at trying to figure this stuff out. My closet and clothes are not easily accessible to me, I’m always going somewhere, and time is always a factor.

I have been known to put my head through the armhole of a T shirt so not even that is an exact science. All of that said, let me tell you a little secret, all of the things I mentioned above are excuses. We all use them. You may not have trouble getting dressed, but I bet you have trouble getting motivated to work out, or eat healthy, or make better use of your time(I’m struggling with that right now) the key to all of those things that are tough is just to do it. Decide for yourself that you’re going to work on it. I may never be able to completely dress myself, but I know I can do more than I’m doing now. If I ever get a TV show I wonder if I can get a cheerleader or two to cheer me on as I try and solve the mystery of putting on pants. Now that’s entertainment.

So what do you struggle with? Are you willing to do the work to improve yourself? Even if you never reach your ultimate goal?

I’m really starting to wonder if Evie have cameras in my house… Yet another example of awesome artwork. Thank you

Doubt me I dare you

jj-brain

I’m going to admit something. When I was little I used to drool…. A lot. As an adult I’ll admit that it happens even now, if I get excited. I hear you saying to yourself “I’m in a fully functional adult and I have issues with drooling somedays. it happens to everybody, it doesn’t mean he’s not smart.” This is true, but add in the fact that I have somewhat slurred speech, limited motor skills, and I sit in a wheelchair. Most people think I’m lucky just to be alive. At first glance, I guess I can’t really blame them. Everybody says don’t judge a book by it’s cover but we all do it. I see a handicapped person on the street, and my first thought is “man that’s got to suck” and then I roll past a mirror and remember I am in the same boat. I think it’s human nature. The difference with me is,  when I see That person on the street I never doubt their mental capacity not for a second.

I don’t live in their shoes and I have no idea what they are capable of. If anything, when I see someone on the street like me, I wonder if they are living up to their potential, most probably aren’t, I’m not even sure I am.

I don’t mind when someone who doesn’t know me doubts my mental ability because it’s fun to prove them wrong, and most time I do. The best part is the looks on their faces when someone walks up and speaks to me like two years old, and 15 minutes later, I’m fixing their computer problems.

My family never doubts me mentally, they can’t. They live with me, and fully understand how my mind works. Where they sometimes struggle, is in their ability to understand how exactly I’m going to get something done. My absolute favorite example of this was my first day of college. My mother dropped me off, and insisted on following me to class. When I said no, her response was” how are you going to get your books out? How will you get notes? How will you get lunch? What if you need to use the restroom?” So she sat in my first class. When the class was over, I didn’t know the answer to any of her questions. I simply looked at her and said “I don’t know but I will figure it out, I love you but you have to go”

My dad has the same problem when I’m working on something new. I call him Mr. what if. He has a zillion what if questions. It took me a while to understand why my family reacted to me in this way. I finally understood that they have faith in me. They just don’t want me to fail or be disappointed. It’s frustrating sometimes that I have to continually prove myself especially to my family. As I get older I’m learning that surprising people every day just means I’m continually getting better and pushing myself. If I just sat in a corner and drooled, like most people expect, I might have a less stressful life but I’m pretty sure I’d be bored out of my mind.

Do people underestimate you, and do you work to prove them wrong?

Thanks into Evie for another fabulous piece of art

I’ve never done the robot on purpose

jj-movement

Living with cerebral palsy is the ultimate guessing game. This cartoon is probably hilarious to anyone that has CP because it’s true. As I sit here writing this blog, a muscle in my left leg is twitching for absolutely no reason. I’m not talking about a small twitch either, I can see it moving. I’m not making it move it’s just doing its own thing. Tomorrow my left leg maybe fine, and my right arm will just refuse to work correctly. I think there are a lots of factors that contribute to my unpredictable body.

I’ve been told that the weather affects everybody whether they realize it or not, if it’s cold outside, my body gets really tight, I might have twitching going on in multiple places. As a rule my body likes warmer weather. If I’m warm and the climate is nice, I have much better odds of having no real anomalies with my body, but if it’s warm and there is rain in the air, my hamstrings might tighten up or they might not, it quite literally depends on the day . I guess I’m the ultimate weathervane.

The unpredictability of my body is hard for those that help me. More times than I can count my dad has been trying to help me put shoes on, and my feet have curled to the point that they are hard to get into a shoe. He normally looks at me and says something like “relax please.” All I can say to him is that I’m trying and that’s truth.

Sometimes my legs won’t straighten enough to put jeans on. When something like this happens, it’s tough on me because they’re quite literally nothing I can do to help. I often feel like a hassle or a burden whether I actually am or not.

My point with this post is not to depress you but to remind you that life is unpredictable. My body is a daily reminder of that for me. The way I deal with it is just to roll with it. If my hands aren’t working, I ask for help  if I need something immediate, and then focus on making them work until they do.

My dad often gets frustrated because I will spill a glass of whatever I am drinking on the floor, simply because my hands decided to have a dance party as I was trying to pick up the glass. I have one particular glass that I love because it’s big. It’s at least 20 ounces and that means I have to ask for refills much less often, (Plus one of my nieces gave it to me have a present, it has a mustache near the top). My dad hates that glass because I spill it fairly often. He says “why not use a glass that’s easier to handle? My answer at least in my mind, is I’m not willing to stop using that glass just because I struggle with it. My logic is that the glass is like physical therapy. As long as I’m not spilling my drink every time I’m picking it up I need to keep using it, because it’s physically good for me to do so.

I repeat Life is unpredictable, just like my body, but you just have to roll with it and keep working through it. If you take shortcuts you might become less able to handle the next thing that comes your way. I feel like there’s at least one fortune cookie in this post. I wonder if I could make money writing fortune cookies?

What’s unpredictable in your life, and how do you handle it?

Give it up for Evie one more time for giving me good material to work with.

I spend lots of time in the matrix

jj-matrix

I am generally a fairly upbeat person. If you see me on the street, odds are I will have a smile and look like I own the place. As I get older I’m having more and more days that I don’t feel like the king of the world. Stuff just hurts. I think everybody deals with that as we age. If you’re out in public very long you will notice that a lot of people haven’t learned how to fake it.

Some mornings I get up and because of cerebral palsy my body just refuses to work. I have a pretty standard routine, of checking email and doing other things that don’t require much from me physically for the first hour of my morning. I do this because it takes that long every day just to figure out what’s working and what’s not. I’ve had several mornings recently that I have gotten out of bed sore, and my hands just didn’t want to work at all. My body doesn’t work well on a good day, but especially when its cold, things get even worse. I go through my hour routine, and my brain says” just take the day off and go back to bed, everything hurts, and it’s not worth it” I never go back to bed.

I want to. I talk about it a lot, but I never actually do. My reason for this? Life is too short. If I go to bed every time I don’t feel like being up, eventually I would be in bed all day. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So I put a smile on my face, and I force myself to do something productive. Before I know it, the entire day is gone, and I still have three hours of work to do.

To be honest, I didn’t want to write this blog today, but it got done anyway. Why push myself like that you ask? The answer is because I don’t want to allow my body to dictate what I do everyday. I complain more than I should to those close to me(just ask Evie).

She motivates me every day for reasons I won’t go into here. Let’s just say she has struggles of her own, and she’s much tougher than me. Being around someone who won’t even admit they are having a bad day, pushes me not to think about my little aches and pains.

What’s the moral of the story? Your mind is amazing and you can push through lots of bad days, just by telling yourself repeatedly and loudly that everything is going your way, and you will not be stopped.

 

The matrix is what you make it. What you believe and tell yourself you feel, can actually come true.

Test it for yourself. Neo has nothing on you.

Thanks to Evie floor making me look at least as good as Keanu Reeves

 

I know I’m a rockstar you don’t have to treat me like one

jj-coa

People watch me everywhere I go. I don’t know if they are curious about the chair, or if I am just so good-looking that they can’t help but stare.   I started to notice it in grade school. Nobody said anything really, there was just always someone watching me. As I got older, that changed. I started to notice people whispering and some would even point. Girls talked to me differently than they did the other guys.  Adults while being unsure about me, even scared of me, generally treated me better than they did other kids. At some point I decided if people we’re going to watch me, I would give them something to watch. I learned to become outgoing, and enjoy being the center of attention wherever I am. I’ll never understand why  people don’t just ask what’s on their mind. If you ever see me on the street and have a question please ask it, no matter how stupid you may think it is. I would rather you ask then not. Anyone who knows me, knows I will answer pretty much anything. Nothing is really off-limits

When I was in college, I had a three hour advertising class that I did not enjoy. There was nothing wrong with the class, I just didn’t want to be there most days. The class started at 1 PM just after lunch. One day, I decided to test a theory .

My theory was that I could roll into the class however late I wanted, and no one would say a word, including the professor who was in her first year. For six weeks I took a long lunch and got to class at least a half hour late every time the class met. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t draw attention to myself, I just rolled in, with my drink in hand, and took my seat. The professor never said a single word, never gave me a look, and I got an A for the class. Granted, I did all my work and studied for the tests, but I’m pretty sure anybody else would have been dropped at least a letter grade. I couldn’t have done that with Dr. Leigh she would have thrown me out of the class and told me not to come back.

People like her are people that I respect and don’t want to disappoint, ever. She never saw the chair or saw me as disabled. If she wanted to talk about something, we talked, just like regular people. I very rarely feel like a regular person. Most days I don’t mind it. If I ever get famous I will already be used to the attention. I had a very close friend  I only met once in person.. She was extraordinarily beautiful and she felt like men and other women were constantly judging her for her beauty. We spent two days together. Afterwords she told me on the phone that those two days were extraordinary because for that time, in a long Time She felt invisible. She felt for the first time in a long time that no one was watching her, because every eye was on me. She said in those two days she was more comfortable then she could ever remember being, because she was invisible. Her name was Patricia and you can read about her here

So what’s the moral of the story? Well, people are just people. Disabled, tall short, fat, thin, it doesn’t matter. Be bold and talk to them. you never know what you might find that out. It’s cool being a rock star most days, but just having a conversation with someone is a lot more fun.

A round of applause for another fabulous comic please. Thanks Evie

 

I can do anything with a little help

jj-challenges

This post is a day late. I knew I had a great motivational comic in the works and I wanted to wait to post it. When you’re in a wheelchair almost every part of life is different than for a normal person. That’s not a bad thing it just is. I’ve been in this situation as pictured in the comic many times. 9 out of 10 times I’ve gotten to go down that slide with some amazing help from someone else. it is very strange to be independent minded like I am and yet require so much help for things that most people take for granted. The thing about overcoming a challenge is that you can have all the help in the world, but before any of it is useful, you have to be willing to work and do your part. Every challenge I have ever faced I needed someone’s help to overcome it.

I have had people literally carrying me up the ladder of a slide like you see here. This blog is another great example. The writing comes from me but I cannot express to you how much work Evie does on a weekly basis to give me the ability to talk to you. Besides this project she is involved in everything else that I do. Having her with me has changed my life(and I’m not just saying that because I know her mother reads this.) At this point, I don’t start a new project without her, she means that much. If I wasn’t willing to do the work. she wouldn’t want to help nearly as much.

I do get frustrated because I need so much help, I think anyone would, but as a friend of my dad says “Do the best you can with what you got”  I am less afraid now than at any other point in my life to ask for help, but I know I have to be willing to do my part. What challenges do you need to overcome and who can you ask for help? (if you’re a really nice to me I’ll let you borrow Evie but I’ll need her back).

For more on this topic check out The support system

It may be a wheelchair but at least it’s comfortable

jj-comfortable-seat

I have lived with cerebral palsy for almost 37 years now and as I get older it gets harder. One thing that always stays the same is the fact that my seat is always comfortable.

I could tell you what I struggle with every day,( and sometimes I do) but most of the time I think we should always look for the upside in every situation, I don’t really think about my Seat until I’m sitting at a sporting event, or in church,(Church it Is interesting because not only do most people have to sit in uncomfortable seats but they have to get up and down a lot too) I think the church leaders do that to keep most people awake.(Holy aerobics, up down, up down, up down) It’s extremely comical to be sitting in a church service, while  every other person in the building is standing.

I often joke that if I could add a couple cup holders, and a massager attachment I’d have a La-Z-Boy on wheels.

 

If you are having a tough day, tough week or tough month, I promise there is an upside.  You may not like your job but the fact that you have the ability to go to a job is a blessing. I’m certain your paycheck is better than mine.

No matter where you are or what you’re doing there is an upside, you just have to be willing to look for it. No you can have my seat.

 

Are you jealous Evie? Give her a round of applause folks for another fabulous cartoon.