Tag Archives: Jamie Jordan

Now I understand how Elmer Fudd felt

 

Like everybody else, I have to shave. I’ve tried to wear a beard because well, it would just be easier. I always make it a few weeks and the itching starts to drive me more than a little insane. Most days I shave using an electric razor with Jane’s help. About once a week a little more help is required. There’s only so much an electric shaver can do.

In my case, my hands aren’t steady so I just have to sit back and let someone else do the work. Sometimes I go to a barber, but most of the time I get help for my dad. Whoever is helping me I try really hard not to make them angry before I need a shave because my life is quite literally in their hands.
Maybe I’m vain, but I’m not a huge fan of scars. Jane is afraid to help me with a razor for that exact reason, she does not want to be responsible. I guess we are getting to the point that I will soon have the option of a robot assistant, that sounds great in theory until they see me as a threat to their survival:-)
Thanks to Evie as always. Her work makes me laugh at myself and that’s pretty amazing.
Have a great Friday everybody

The power of levitation would come in really handy sometimes

No matter how Vigilant you are, technology tends to break down and when it does, I realize how much I rely on it. It gets me out of bed, into the bathroom, the shower. Basically anytime I’m outside the chair a lift probably got me there. When I don’t have that technology it’s hard for me to move and puts a strain on people who don’t need to be lifting a fully grown man.

Unfortunately, you can’t just go to Amazon and pick up new hardware. I’ve had one lift in the shop for at least 6 months, and the other one is threatening to die. It will all work out, it always does but I wonder where one would go to hire a Swedish nurse in the meantime? As always, thanks to Evie for working her magic.

Happy Monday Everybody

Tow trucks are not wheelchair accessible

It’s never fun to have a car break down, especially while you’re on vacation. That happened to me a few years ago. Doesn’t matter where you are, you can probably find some place to get your car worked on. That’s the major benefit of having a Walmart every 5 miles across the United States. If you’re in a wheelchair and your car braids down in a small town with little or no public transportation or any kind of accessible transportation for that matter, you are kind of stuck.
When this happened to me, it was interesting to see the look on the tow truck drivers face when my dad told him that the electric wheelchair did not fold up and I couldn’t just hop in the front of the truck. So for the first time in my life. I rode in my vehicle, as it was sitting on the back of a tow truck. I’m pretty sure this is highly illegal. but there were no other options in small town Oklahoma. The looks that we got from people as they passed the truck on the highway and realised that there were people actually riding in the vehicle on the back was priceless. I felt A little bit like an exhibit On Ripley’s believe it or not.
It’s definitely not something you see every day, but when accessible transportation is not available, you have to get creative. I’m pretty sure the tow truck driver will never forget me.
As always, I want to say thank you to Evie for actually believing me when I tell her all these crazy stories. Have a great week everybody.

May I share this parking lot with you?

 

Evie does a fantastic job capturing my life in comics. This one may be my favorite of all of them because it is absolutely true.  Most handicapped parking spaces are easily large enough to accommodate a lift that either unfolds out of the side door, or comes from underneath the side door as mine does. The problem is a handicapped spot can be hard to come by, and if I do happen to find one, most people don’t park straight and end up taking up their spot and half of mine. I’m in a wheelchair and have to park it all the time. I almost never park straight, so I completely understand, I’m just saying,  it complicates things.

When we come out from someplace and someone has made it impossible for me to get back in the car,  Jane usually has to back out and we need the construction cones you see in the cartoon above to make sure that I don’t get run over while I’m trying to get back in the car. It keeps life interesting if nothing else.

I need to take a minute to say thank you to Evie for all that she does. I’ve always wanted my own comic strip or comic books(Because my life isn’t that interesting without out a little bit of embellishment).She makes it happen every time I ask and I cannot express to you what that is worth to me.  I have never met a more beautiful person.  I also want to thank all of you for reading. It is great fun to sit down and know that someone enjoys what I write.

Have a great week everybody

 

 

I have a love hate relationship with my desk at work

I’ve picked up another job recently. On my first day, I came in and they knew exactly where they wanted me to sit. I rolled up to the desk and proceeded to bang my knee on it.  FYI tables and desks in public places are rarely just the right height for people in wheelchairs to comfortably sit at. They are either too high or too low, After I banged my knee on the table, the next step was to figure out how we were going to raise

After I banged my knee on the table, the next step was to figure out how we were going to raise it. Since it is a part-time job, and I’m there at least a couple days a week, it needed to be a somewhat permanent solution. After some searching on Google, we figured out that the solution was furniture lifts. I had never used furniture lifts before, so in my mind, they were some marvellous piece of space-age technology. With that in mind, I sent Jane to the store. When she brought them back I found out I was sadly mistaken. They were four pieces of plastic with a hole in each, designed to be inserted under each leg of the table. When the process was complete, the table was  1.5 inches taller. They did the job, but they cost me $30. (gotta love capitalism ).  Some guy has made millions selling four pieces of plastic with holes for legs in them. Why didn’t I think of that?

As always, Thanks to Evie For making my life funnier in comics then it actually is.

I should have been a doctor

My handwriting has never been good. I can put most doctors to shame. It makes sense if you think about it. I have a hard time holding a pen pencil, obviously using them well is asking a lot, I don’t write much in everyday life.Most of my work Is done using a computer so it doesn’t matter most of the timeButI have recently picked up a part-time job helping customers in a retail store, When other employees are busy. It’s pretty simple. I ask them how I can help and take down information until another employee can check them in. I quickly figured out that I needed Jane to take notes for me, because not only could other employees Not read my handwriting, but I couldn’t decipher anything I wrote

What really worries me Is that I know there are other people who have no physical issues whatsoever, who struggle with the same problem. That’s scary. I think doctors must take a class to learn how to write illegibly, Maybe I’m in the wrong profession. Think of it, a Dr. with shaky hands, slurred speech, and issues reading his own handwriting, That kind of sounds like half of the doctors around the world. I think I could pull it off.

 

Happy Saturday everybody

As always, Thanks to Evie For adding a bit of comic relief.

I got to bring superheroes to life

It has been a really long time since I posted anything here. Before you throw tomatoes at me(that would make for a mess on your monitor) I have a really good reason. I’ve been helping my friend Starla Huchton turn her hit book trilogy Evolution into killer audiobooks. I’ve been producing audiobooks for a while, but for the first time, ever audiobooks that I have created are available for sale on audible. I think that means I am a professional. 🙂 one of the many reasons I’m super excited about this project is because the trilogy follows the exploits of Candace Bristol in her quest to become a superhero. She is a no-nonsense butt kicker who doesn’t take anything from anybody. I would not want to make her angry. Neither would Bruce Banner. I love this character. If you are not into heroes but like romance, we’ve got that too. These are comic books for adults. There is plenty of adult subject matter. This series is not for the kiddos. That said there is plenty to love here for those of us adults who act like kids sometimes.

 

Before I wrap this up I want to talk a little bit about Audible. It is my absolute favourite service for audiobooks. Thay make it really easy to download your books to your phone, tablet, or PC. This means you can dive into a great audiobook no matter where you are. If you are a brand new Audible listener you can sign up right here and download one book absolutely free. The book is yours to keep forever. If you download one of these two books for free as a new member, both Starla and I get a nice bonus and you get a fantastic book for free. Just make sure you cancel before the 30 days are up. If you are willing to give it a try start by clicking right here if you want to just purchase the books for full price you can click the covers below.

 

Evolution Angel 

And evolution Sage

Evolution Hex wraps up the trilogy and it Will be available very soon.

If you would like to know what you’re getting into before you purchase. You can download a podcast of Evolution Angel. Each episode contains one chapter of the book and Starla is releasing one episode per week. If you are patient you can listen to the first book in the trilogy, with no risk absolutely free the second book Will not be released in podcast form.

Thank you guys very muchFor letting me share something that I am very proud of. I finally got to put some on my audio editing talent to use on something that pays me. To Randy Ray, your time was not wasted. Have a great weekend everybody.

PS Did I mention that my own book is coming out very soon? Stay tuned for that,