Relying on people is just part of being in wheelchair. I’m very independent but there are just things I can’t do. I’m constantly learning new things everyday to help myself but I fear I will always need help. As long as that’s the case I will have to be patient with other people. I’ve never had to get my mom out of bed for help, my brother is a different story. He is really hard to wake up. He is also extraordinarily busy. It doesn’t happen often anymore, but when he helps me out, I am very well taken care of but I have to be flexible and work around his schedule. Jane is employed by me, but even she is completely unavailable for three days out of the month. I’m not complaining it’s just a fact. My mother is always around, but is constantly working on something so I may not have the opportunity to go to the restroom the second of the urge hits me. Especially if my family has gone out for something.
I learned very early on that I needed to be careful about what I consumed every day especially if I was going to be on my own for a few hours on a given day. If I know I’m going to be alone from 6 to 10 on a Friday night, I’m very careful about what I drink during that time frame so I’m not dying to use the restroom if they come in 20 or 30 minutes late.
Same with food. I have started keeping snacks where I can reach them in case I get hungry, but if I want a meal I need to make sure I eat when other people are eating. It doesn’t go over well, when you come out after the food has been put away and everyone else is ready to relax. (yes I have done that more than I care to admit). I normally go to bed around the time that everyone else in my house goes. That’s really inconvenient for me, but it’s also not right for me to keep someone else up because I am not ready to sleep. It gets frustrating yes, but as long as I need help getting in bed, it’s a concession I have to be willing to make.
I also have to be gracious about it. This is something that I struggle with because I am an adult and it’s hard not to feel that I deserve more flexibility in my life. However, I have to remember that the person asking if I can go to bed, (usually my dad) cannot be expected to revolve around me. I’m very lucky that there’s usually someone available to talk to, even if I’m in bed( Evie and I usually have at least a text conversation every night about something).
I have to be patient and accommodating whether I want to be or not because the people who help me, their needs, are just as important as mine.
Patience seems to be in very short supply in today’s world.I think I’m a better man because I’ve had to learn it just to be able to function. I don’t get exactly what I want, the second I want it, all the time. My needs are met and learning to be patient with other people has made me a better person.
Are there areas in your life that you need to learn patience, especially with other people? Leave us a comment and let us know.
As always big thanks to Evie for all that you do for me.