Disclaimer

This post was written a couple of years ago and I decided to use it for this post. Most of these observations come from growing up the way that I did. We didn’t have a lot, but we had what we needed and didn’t always get what we wanted. Looking back I’m a better man for it. I don’t know if he did it on purpose, but my dad taught me the value of hard work and that you get out of life what you put in it and nothing more.

I understand that people are concerned about the self-esteem of children these days. Nobody ever “loses” at anything. Even the losing team at the sporting event gets some kind of prize or they still get a pizza party, etc. When we were kids, it wasn’t like that. Somebody won and somebody lost. There was a reward for people that were talented or willing to work hard to achieve. People who lost were expected to show good sportsmanship. It didn’t mean you had to like or enjoy it, but you had to recognize in that moment that the person you were dealing with was better than you. Maybe the losing team could use this as motivation to work harder.

 “equality” is a hot topic word. Another buzz word among society is “self entitlement”. We are all concerned with making sure everyone gets equal treatment and rewards for all efforts, but many people are also aware of this behavior of self entitlement that is emerging.

My niece played soccer 3 years ago. It was a lot of fun watching 8 year olds running around trying to figure out the rules of the game. The parents are all standing up screaming which way to go, to kick the ball into the net, etc. There was a little girl whose dad was especially loud and boisterous throughout the game and was shouting orders to his daughter loudly. At one point during the game, his daughter looked up to the stands where her dad had been screaming and shouting from, and in a moment of honesty she said, “Dad! Don’t talk to me while I’m playing!” I was happy that she finally said that. For a long time, I was thinking the same thing. My neice was on the same team, but with this guy shouting at his daughter the whole time, it was like the game became about only her. Or maybe the game became all about the dad. The dad that could yell the loudest in the stand gets the most eyes. We sign up kids to be in sports with other kids so that they can get the experience of working as a team and forming a community, while the adults don’t know how to behave as a community. We go to sporting events and pretend it is all about us and nobody else is there.

I also went to a church that had a ballet recital this past year and watched parents standing up in the aisles filming their kids dancing with their ipads. I sat behind them in my wheelchair, my vision obstructed by where they were standing. People couldn’t get out of the aisles if they wanted to. For those parents, the ballet was all about them and their child. I understand that you’re obviously going to watch your own kid during a recital and be proud of what he/she is doing, but it’s not only about YOU. Otherwise, why sign the kid up to dance with other kids? Kids dance just fine in your living room to Barney songs. I don’t see you standing there blocking the door to your home while family members want to come in because you’re filming uber important dancing to “Mr. Golden Sun”.

I think the sense of entitlement that is emerging so strongly in our culture is due in part to parents who have over-rewarded their children in a “positive discipline” effort, and now those kids are growing up and having kids of their own to be raised in the same way. Everyone feels like they deserve the trophy, yet nobody feels they should have to work hard to get there. People say they are willing to work hard, but more often you hear complaints about how meager efforts are going unrewarded, and there must be a clearly defined “reward” for every bit of effort we put forth. I don’t know what the reward will be for my physical therapy sessions, but I know that if it doesn’t make me worse it is making me better, and that is enough reward in itself.

The image was borrowed from here

If you were paying close attention this week, you’ll notice that I missed posting one day . The simple truth is I ran out of time on that day. We’re all busy. Some days you just can’t get everything done. When I was just a few years younger, I would have never thought about being this busy. Every adult I knew told me it was coming, but I had no idea. As I get older Time management is becoming more and more important. Figuring out what’s important and what’s not on a given day is becoming absolutely essential.

Time management is a skill that you’ll learn by doing. As with the example of missing a post this week. I am far from knowing everything I need to about time management. That said here’s a few things I have learned

Know what’s important

This is going to sound really stupid, everybody should know that paying bills  on time is more important then playing video games right? I think logically we all know that but sometimes you just don’t want to pay that bill right then. So you tell yourself, I have a few days I’ll do it later. Then the day it’s due you scramble around trying to get it paid. I hear you saying I don’t have the money to pay that right now. That happens to the best of us. In that case you have to prioritize what’s most important.

For most of us it goes like this

1. Food
2. Rent
3. Utilities

You have to eat, you need a place to sleep and you need power and water.  sounds like a no-brainer right? Well I’ve actually met people who will pay their cell phone bill, Before they pay their utility’s

That’s kind of an extreme example but it applies to everything you do in life.

Make a priority list

To me, my cell phone is not a priority I’d much rather eat. I’m using the bills example, because it is something we all have to deal with, but I have a List of priorities that are important to me and they change depending on the days of the week.

On Monday I stand in my standing frame. It’s not something I want to do it every Monday but it’s something my body is telling me needs to happen because I’m getting older and my body is getting tight. That usually takes two hours from start finish. After the standing frame, I eat, get a massage(when that option is available) and get a shower. From that point on I try to focus on whatever work I have for that day.  Whether it’s working on this blog or working on projects for the New Media Arts nonprofit.  NMA is  paying gig, so if there is work to be done. I try to focus on that because I have bills just like you do.

When the work is done, I come here and start to write. Each post I write , takes a ton of time, even with speech to text. A post like this routinely takes an hour or more. That’s just one.

When I’m done with that, I usually try to pray and study. (Although that has fallen through the cracks lately) Long story short, by the time all of this is done, and I look up it’s seven or 8 PM Monday night.

I watch about an hour of TV a day, because most days that’s all I have time for. If you’re looking at my Monday saying to yourself “that doesn’t seem like much” just remember, it takes me 2 to 3 times as long to do everything you do. It gets done it’s just slow. For me that makes time management even more important. It also helps to know what can wait until tomorrow. I rarely get everything done in a day that I need to,  My Tuesday was completely different than Monday. As does Wednesday each day have a completely different list of things I need to do.

So let’s recap

Know what’s important, prioritize

Know what can wait

Be smart enough to do big stuff first, bills  beats video games

You can only do so much  in a day. Rest is important.  It is something that I struggle with as well you can read more about that right here

I decided to put this down because it’s something that I struggle with, and it causes stress in my life. Life is too short, to be stress the point that you’re overwhelmed. That’s not good for anybody. I’m not an authority on this and your results may vary. I’m just telling you what I’ve learned.

Who ever originally said one day at a time, was a really smart person.

Image from http://www.cliparthut.com/delegation-women-clipart.html