I hung out with a guy named Dave a lot after school was out. I spent the majority of my time in his backyard hanging out and playing games with he and his family. At that time in my life, I didn’t realize that my personality can be abrasive to some people. Other people have a problem being honest with me because of my wheelchair. Dave probably wanted to do other things than hang out with me all the time, but how could he tell a guy in a wheelchair that he had other things to do, or that I was cramping his style? When we graduated from High School, Dave went off to Texas Tech, which was pretty far from my house. At that time, there weren’t the technological advances that allow for easy communication between people who are far apart. I went from hanging out with Dave every day to not seeing him at all, ever. He came by a few times, and I see him every few years, but we aren’t best buddies anymore.

I tend to be overbearing at times. The story about Dave is a good example of that. I was in his life and business all the time. I have one of those personalities that never tires of people. I don’t like to be alone. I’m not afraid of being alone, but I don’t like to be. I enjoy being in constant contact with my friends, and always being available. I’m one of those people that doesn’t “smother” easily. You know what I’m talking about, especially those of you of the female variety. You’re spending a lot of time talking with someone, and suddenly they start calling you more than you like, sending you more emails than you prefer, and always saying “hello” if they see you online. Meanwhile, you run off and text your friends that you are being “smothered” by this other person, right? I AM THAT PERSON! Luckily, I’m more aware of other people’s feelings now than I was when I was in high school. I still don’t understand how a person can feel smothered by basic friendliness or desire for conversation. I still don’t read signals well. I prefer that people just tell me openly if they need more or less of me. I don’t take hints well. I suck at hints. Women LOVE to hint at things. Let me repeat: I suck at hints! Just be honest! Even though I’m in a chair, you can be honest with me. I’m a big boy and I can handle the truth, if I only knew what that truth was.
When I met people in college, it was very hard for me to know what the social rules were. You never know what the “threshold” is until you’ve broken through it, and communicated too often or too much. My grating personality has been an ongoing source of difficulty. I’m a devoted friend. Perhaps some people perceive that as smothering.

I didn’t give up on people and this happened

There is a certain expectation for the behavior of people in wheelchairs. I have a loud and outgoing personality at times. This isn’t accepted well by many people. There are those who believe my personality is a cover-up for some sort of insecurity when they first meet me, but this really is just the kind of person I am. Just because I’m in a wheelchair doesn’t mean that I am quiet and shy, or that I am always “Mr. Nice Wheelchair Guy”. People with disabilities are unique individuals just like the rest of the world, and thusly have unique personalities. When it comes right down to it, I’m just a guy and I’m just going to say it out loud, I love women.

I don’t pretend to know everything about everything. For example, I am clueless when it comes to women. I struggle with women. I have zero control over the dating portion of my life. Even in friendships with women, I am completely baffled.

Women enjoy availability. But not when you are TOO available.
Women enjoy when you are sweet to them, but not TOO sweet. There’s a thin line between sweet and desparate.
Women enjoy attention, but too much attention makes them call you “overbearing” and “stalkerish”.
Women often say they want honesty and a straightforward answer to things, but DO NOT EVER tell her the truth! The moment you tell her that your favorite part about her looks is a body part below the chin, you are in the doghouse.

I know there is a line drawn between too available and not available enough, too little attention and stalker-ish. As a man, I am completely unaware of where that “line” is drawn. I seem to always fall on the far side of the line.

“I know what we are doing next year for your birthday if I get to be a big star!”
“You’re doing it again.”

The communication gap between men and women is well documented if you put her wheelchair in the mix it gets to be even more fun.

All jokes aside I feel like human beings have a hard time communicating with each other. When I’m out in public I feel like a three ring circus. I’m always being watched. I assume this is because people have questions about my situation and are afraid to ask. Instead they try to avoid catching my eye and in extreme cases, act like I’m invisible. I’ll never forget going through on airport with a very close friend of mine. Every airport employee that we met, who had a question regarding my flight or my luggage, came to him and completely overlooked with me as though I wasn’t there. Finally after several instances of this, he looked at me and said “dude, why don’t they talk to you, especially when the question has to do with you? I said very simply they are afraid. We live in a politically correct society and no one wants to make a mistake by saying or doing the wrong thing, especially with a guy in a wheelchair. I told my friends jokingly that some of those people were probably afraid that if I got agitated, I might have a seizure right in the middle of the airport. It sounds absurd, but after years of observation I truly believe that people don’t engage someone that they are unsure of in any way. I should have Women wanting dates in a line from my door going on the way around the block. Think about it. They would have a great parking everywhere we went. They would never have to stand in line, because well…. I bring my own chair and would never get upset about a pretty girl in my lap. They would also have someone always willing to hold their purse. I’m already in the wheelchair, so no other man is going to make fun of me for holding a woman’s purse. Even if it’s pink and has hello Kitty on it. I’d love to run a social experiment. Put Tom Brady or Derek Jeeter in a chair, roll camera, and just see what happens. The results might surprise us all. Would you guys watch that? I know I would.

I remember calling and setting up a meeting with Dr. Leigh Browning, the director of broadcasting at West Texas A&M University . I didn’t know that day, but I found out later, The day I met with her was a day in the middle of June and she was in the middle of running the Guy P Yates Speech and Theater camp. More on that later. She was literally wearing a visor, shorts, and had a tan. I was beaten down at that point and discouraged by most of my Community College experience. I explained to her that I had just spent 3 years at at the school that shall not be named. I told her, “I understand that I can’t be on the air. I can’t …..” This was basically a 45 melodramatic monologue from me. She let me go on and on, loathing in self-pity. All of this with my mother sitting next to me. The whole time Dr Leigh had this look on her face

When I was done she leaned over her desk, looked me in the eye and said “You will be on my air. You will be on my staff, and you will graduate from here.” Within a week of my starting there in the fall, I was on the air. Their studio wasn’t as advanced as the The place that shall not be named, but it worked better for me and my chair. I had to take 2 television classes where you had to pick up a camera and learn to shoot video. When I got to those classes, I would go to her and ask her what I should do. She assigned an assistant for me to carry the camera. There was nothing that she let me “get out” of because of my wheelchair. I did everything that everyone else did.

My first day, she walked into the class and said, “I’ll tell you right now, there isn’t anyone tougher on students than I am, but if you can get through this class, you can make it anywhere.” It was the complete opposite of my other experience.
Up to that point, nobody had ever really had the balls to tell me when I had made a mistake. Dr Leigh knew how to yell if you messed up she told you about it, loudly most of time. She was not afraid to yell at me the only difference was she often started with the phrase, “I know I’m going to go to hell for saying this…but…”
She was a tough lady, and I owe so much to her.

The 45 minute melodrama never happened again. When I would go into her office, she would have me tell her what was my issue, she would give me a solution, and she would tell me to go. She was busy. She was more like a boss than a college teacher, and this was perfect for me.
There have been times when I stepped out of line and said something I shouldn’t have. There were a lot of days that I didn’t like her, and we didn’t get along. She would tell me that I am just like everyone else, and I can’t talk to other people like I’m the boss. She’s the only one who gets to do that. I have nothing but respect for her.

She helped me fill out my vote for the awards ceremony for the radio station. “Most Improved On Air Personality”. I told her I wanted to put myself. She said, “You can’t put yourself. You were good when you came here.” She gave me confidence in what I was doing.

She kept us busy. It was the closest thing to a real job I’ve ever had. We always had a project, or we were doing some kind of community service when we were not in the studio doing the fun broadcasting stuff.

Community service was a requirement, not an option. if you weren’t willing to do community service, then you shouldn’t be in her program. That’s how she thought. Mass comm and speech communications students ran a camp every summer together for gifted high school kids who were interested in improving their skills in speech and theater. It was “working” Camp. This kids came to get better at what they did, not sit around the campfire.

We helped out with Christmas stuff for the needy, coats for kids. We would work on Saturdays and Sundays sometimes, whatever was needed. If you are a Mass COM student and you had a lot of downtime you were doing it wrong.

I’ll never forget the final project for one of Dr. Leigh’s favorite classes. It was called the Canyon Weekly, named after the town the school was in. Canyon, TX. We were a news team. Every single week your job would change. Everyone in the class would. work together put together a newscast like you see on TV. The final exam for this particular class was that the last show for that semester had to be perfect before she would let us go. Perfect means just what it sounds like. If the news anchors for that week missed one single word, or someone ran a commercial early we started over. This happened until we did it right She did this on a Saturday morning at 4am. My dad drove me to school that particular day, “Why in this on a Saturday? ” The whole time, my dad would argue that she can’t require you to is this happening on a Saturday? You are paying to go to school here, they can’t require this of you. She must understand you’re in a wheelchair and it’s a hardship on us to get you here” finally as we pulled into the parking lot i looked at my dad and said “Do YOU want to go to her office and tell her there’s a problem? Because I don’t!”

There’s no question. All of the podcasts and things that I have, my job in Second Life, I wouldn’t have any of that if it wasn’t for this program. She taught us to adapt. Everything that I am came from that experience. There were days I thought Dr. Leigh was a wack-job. A nutter. A crazy. It wasn’t until we got to be better friends after I graduated that we could really talk about her reasoning behind things. I can’t say that I rose to the point of being her “equal”, because she will always be my teacher and I give her that respect, but after graduating I did notice that after I graduated I moved up the ranks a bit, allowing me more freedom to voice my opinions and such. Dr. Leigh passed away recently. it was not unexpected and she was very young. I was very sad when I found out because she had some idea of the projects I was working on, and that I was trying very hard to be one of her success story’s to be honest, I’m hoping this website becomes a huge success because I’m having to use every skill she gave me to make it happen. I wanted her to see me go from being a guy in wheelchair, who lived with his parents, to a guy in a wheelchair helping millions of people using the skills she gave me. If the site goes big I’ll feel like I have lived up to the expectations she had of me.

When I was a senior in high school, I was recruited by the radio and TV program at the local community college. They guy who ran it came and told me he wanted me to be part of his program. I went to see this studio and see what they had. I’ll never forget that day. They were in the process of remodeling the studio. The studio was being redone, and they were putting up state of the art equipment, newer computer technology and doing away with CDs. When I went to see the studio, the guy asked me “What do you think you are going to need here?” I told him “Just give me a stack of CDs and a mic, and I’ll be the best you’ve got.” He looked at me and said, “You’re not a DJ, you’re an entertainer.” I’ll never forget his words as long as I live. It’s stayed with me even to this day. I may have talent and I may be a disc jockey, but I’m more of an entertainer and a radio personality.
When I started to take classes, I discovered that their rule was that freshman involved in the program weren’t allowed to be on air or touch any of the radio equipment. I wasn’t pleased with this rule. The guy running the program would put me on the air when he thought nobody was paying attention. The board did find out, and didn’t like that I was a freshman who was getting air time. They had just redone the studio, and the new setup was tall. I couldn’t reach anything. The screens were all touch screen, but I couldn’t reach any of them because they were set up so high. In radio, there are two types of consoles. At this Community College, they built the console so that the talent would stand, which gives the voice more support.

As a college freshman, I didn’t know I could choose my own classes. I went to a counselor and got a class schedule like everyone else, but I didn’t realize some of the same classes were offered at different times. I had an 8am history class that I was late to every day. If you’ve ever tried to sneak into the back of a room for anything…it doesn’t matter if it’s a church, a classroom, you’re going to make noise. It doesn’t matter how quiet you try to be. There was one day I rolled in 10 or 15 minutes late. He saw me and said, “Mr. Jordan, why are you late for my class”. I replied, “To be honest sir, I was chasing a girl.” He asked me, “Did you catch her?” I replied, “No sir, the battery died and she got away.” Everyone laughed. After the class was over I went up to apologize for being late, but the professor told me I could be late every day if I wanted as long as I came in with a good one-liner to wake up the class. It was my first regular stand-up (sit-down) comedy gig! He let me sit in on classes that I wasn’t enrolled for just because it changed the dynamic of the classroom and kept the students more awake to learn.

I was told at one point, after about a year that I needed to choose another degree, because I had to wait for technology to catch up with me. I didn’t take that well. I said “no” and continued doing what I was doing. When they figured out that I wasn’t going to stop taking the communications classes and pursuing that degree. They substituted a lot of classes so that I could get my associates degree. I was very upset about that. My dad even started to doubt my abilities to do the job after graduating.

I have a friend named Deena E. who is disabled was is a local DJ here in town. I shadowed her during my first semester in college. That is one of the assignments that we had, to choose a radio personality, contact them and shadow them.

At one low point, after a year or so of struggle I told Deena that I was considering quitting, because it was just so hard. Deena pretty much said that if I quit, she’s going to kick my ass. She told me that it’s not about my not being able to reach things in the studio, it’s not about my having a drunken-sounding voice because of my condition, you can do this job. Se reassured me that I could do it. Deena it about 4 feet tall and 90 lbs. They make burritos bigger than Deena. Seeing that she could do this job helped me to see that there would be a future for me. She advised me to go to a the local university when my time at community college was done. I did just that

Despite my struggles at the Community college. I met many good people there that helped me make it through. Just like my previous years in school. They were there when I needed them most. Two in particular are the man in the story above, who goes by the name of Brian Farmer. You always told me I would be great like Horatio Alger rags to riches all because I knew how to make people laugh. Another is Margie Vitale. Margie did a lot of work to get me through classes very similar to what someone like Liz did for me in my earlier years. Without her I most certainly would have failed. A quick search of the Internet tells me that both of these people are still working today. Maybe if this blog Is successful, I should pay them both a visit. I wonder yes they would remember me? Because of people like these it took about three years but I got that Associates degree.

And then there was Dr Leigh

Let’s go back to the 1980’s and talk about me going to school. There are a few memories I have of going to school. I rode on the short bus. Everyone knows what the short bus is. You all probably know lots of jokes about this short bus. It’s not all that funny when you’re on it. It’s pretty much like the long bus, just shorter. I also remember having a lot of “resource classes”. You may not know what resource classes are, but in jokes it’s called the “special class”. Yes, I was a very “special” boy. I had a special chair, special teachers, a special room, and extra-special friends. Of course, in our culture everyone is special. Barney even says so in his song “You Are Special” …everyone in his or her own way, or so the song says.
Despite all of this “special-ness” someone eventually figured out that, for lack of better phrasing, my brain worked. I was in the “special” classes until the end of the 4th grade. Over that summer, I had to learn how to stop drooling and coerce with intelligent peers. I’ve always been a good speaker, or at least I have always had a big mouth and have been ready to use it whenever given the chance. At the end of the 4th grade, my teachers decided to give me a chance to use my brain, and I was an integrated student the rest of my primary school years, until I graduated high school in 1998.

Movin on up