A man on the wheels has to take a vacation every once in a while. I really like to travel. Obviously being in a wheelchair makes things a bit more interesting than your average person. I recently spent the weekend in Austin Texas seeing my sister. I had both minions with me as usual. A guy in a wheel chair has to do things a bit differently everywhere he goes. On vacation even more so. Here’s an audio recap of my vacation. I work really hard to stay positive on this blog. If I seem a little down in this audio, it’s because sometimes you want to do something and you just can’t.
No matter what your issue is, no matter how long you have it, sometimes you just want something you can’t have it at that particular time. That’s hard but you can’t dwell on it. In this audio I wanted something I couldn’t have, and I wanted to share with you guys. It’s great to be me, But this is a reminder that I have struggles just like you.
My life isn’t what I want it to be right now. I get frustrated some days because I live with my parents, and have been struggling to accomplish my goals in this life – like finishing this book. I have to remind myself that most people are in this same situation.
People have been asking me what my goal is with using the standing frame. I don’t know what the “goal” is, it just seems like a step in the right direction. It’s not been an easy step. It’s been really hard. As a matter of fact it’s been the most painful and mentally challenging things I’ve ever done. Painful to the point that more than once I’ve thought that I might black out because my body didn’t want to do what I wanted. People have asked what the benefits to this kind of training are. If you asked me if getting up in the standing frame twice a week was something I wanted to do, the answer would be, “no”.
But there are some things that we do because it makes us a better person. I’ve taken a lot of physical pain during this training. It may make me mentally stronger, it may make me physically stronger, but either way it will make me stronger, and that is worth the pain.
A lot of people in this day in age get hung up on their struggles. They look at their own situation and say, “Look at how tough MY life is!” They are willing to tell anyone who will listen about their personal struggles. Someone is always complaining about their childhood or their bad day from last week or how their cat threw up on the carpet this morning, which ruined their whole day, etc etc.. We all have stuff that’s happened. There’s nothing wrong with sharing your personal stories with others. Personal stories help to connect us and open us up to others emotionally, but the people that are constantly complaining about woes on a day to day basis need to re-evaluate what is happening in the life around them and either make some positive changes or look at things in a different way, so that the positive can be found no matter what the situation.
So when I’m in that standing frame suffering pain just from standing that most people would feel after running 10 miles or so, I get pissed off upset too.
My physical therapist says I am much harder on myself than he is on me. He deals with a lot of people who come in complaining of pain and if they have to endure pain to make the pain better, he says most people aren’t willing to do that. Most people aren’t willing to deal with pain management or soreness to self-improve.
I didn’t get to the point I wanted to get to in the standing frame this week. I was still too sore to sleep last night because of my efforts, but I wanted more success still.
There are a lot of people willing to complain, but are they willing to make the changes and do what they need to do in order to make their lives better?
The standing frame is not going to allow me to get a job or magically allow me to become more independent, but it is something I can do to make my life better. I feel that if I do this, there are other doors that will open if I take the initiative. This is something available to me and within my power that I can do as I wait for those opportunities to open up. I have no clue what those opportunities are and I still spend too much time on a daily basis worrying about where I need to be, but I can’t just dwell on that. I have to be doing something to improve myself.
Update
Most of this was written a couple years ago and I still feel the same way. If you are not happy with the direction of your life, then you have to do something to change it. I’m not saying quit your job, or leave your spouse. I’m saying that every small step in the direction that you want to go gets you closer to your desired destination. I’m not ashamed to admit that there is a donate button on this blog. It’s there because I’d like to be able to pay Evie what she’s worth, as well as get myself in a better financial situation.
I don’t expect, millions of dollars. The donate button is really an illustration of what I’m talking about here. I’d like to get paid for motivating and entertaining you, so I’ve put up a donate button. It’s a small step but it gets me closer to what I want. I’ve also decided that I want to speak more often professionally. To help with that process, I’ve started working on getting an agent. Again, it’s a small step toward getting me closer to my ultimate goal. Are you ready to take a step?
When I’m writing for this blog, I try and find a cool picture to go along with it. I learned long ago people pay much better attention when there are pictures. I was looking for a picture of a wheelchair that the Terminator might use, and I found this.
Yes please
I talk about inspiration a lot. Things like this are what inspire me, Do me a favor and check out the full story right here. It is well worth your time.
I would also like to thank Corporal Joshua Hoffman for his service to the United States. You earned that ride sir. That’s true inspiration folks.
I’m old enough to admit that when I was a little kid I watched Sesame Street almost every day.. We had three channels, and characters like Dora and little Einsteins didn’t exist. Even today sesame Street still affects me. I found this and decided it was great for a Monday Post. Monday sucks for a lot of people, I thought this video might start you off on the right foot I’ll talk about my love of all things Dave Matthews in a future post. For now happy Monday everybody.
Let’s get right to the truth. There are aspects of your life that are going to suck. You wake up, and your teeth are all grungy and your breath stinks. Everybody’s breath stinks when they get up. Everybody has to brush their stinky teeth. It sucks. Nobody likes to spend time doing this little task, but we all have to. And this is just one of the 15 million little things about your life that is going to suck.
Personally, the suckiest thing in my life is that I have to brush my teeth. Just kidding. My sucky thing is the obvious one.
Yeah…. all this…
Image curtsy of https://ldnk.wordpress.com/2013/11/19/wc-part-management/
But really, we all have bad days but you can’t allow it to take over and own you. Life also has really awesome things too. Like when your teeth are freshly brushed and you can sweep your tongue along them and not taste grimy-ness. Many people look to their children as the most joyful part of their life. (Maybe your kids can also bring you stress, but see how you can use the love of your kids to uplift your spirit?) Maybe you have a good job that provides for you and despite the stress that it brings you can be happy about the security of employment.
Bills: Another Sucky Part of Life
Everybody has bills. I have bills and I don’t even have a job! Well, not a conventional one where I know when I’ll be paid and how much. Is it stressful? Not really.
I feel like people get too wrapped up in stress about money. We want to live beyond our means. We want the newest technology with the white ear buds. We want the phone with the bazillion available apps. We want the designer clothes and the nice shoes and the nice handbags and the cool cars with the GPS built in and the electric everything, but we can’t always afford it. I’m not an accountant or a specialist about finance, and I’m not going to lecture you about getting your finances in order, but if I can say one thing about responsible spending I would say live below your means.
When the new iPad tablet came out, I really really wanted one. I couldn’t afford one with my income, so I didn’t get one. I waited. A couple of years passed, and I was telling a friend of mine about how I still wanted this gadget. He happened to have a Samsung Galaxy Tablet that he wasn’t using, and sold it to me for $150, a price within my means. I had to settle for something that was different than what I had in mind, and I had to wait for 2 years to get it, but I’m happy that I didn’t use a credit card or some other type of loan to put myself in debt and amount more stress.
Maybe you’re already in debt, as many people are, and it’s wreaking havoc in your life already. I read a report from 2012 that stated that 70% of married people have money problems. Money is also cited as one of the top problems that couples argue about. There’s no doubt that money can bring on a great deal of stress.
Can I get an Amen?
Image Curtsy of http://www.slideshare.net/
If you’re swimming in debt, it’s a problem that you can’t ignore. If you are stressed because you’re not pretty enough, smart enough, or tall enough, you should ignore that, and focus on your positive traits. But if you are stressing about bills, you have to address the problem. Begin fixing the problem areas where you can, but remember that you can’t change what’s been done in the past. This may help you to release some of the guilt and stress so that you can enjoy your life.
I play the lottery. Most of you are like yeah what’s the big deal?”
I consider myself to be really smart with my money. I have to be since I’ve never had a 9-to-5 job. I talked about that in a previous post Here I have been reading a book the deals a lot with positive energy and managing your moods on a daily basis. When I’m holding that ticket in my hand, it truly affects my moods until the drawing. I daydream more and think, what if. We must all do that or the lottery would make any money.
Yeah….I know better
The truth is it’s one of the worst things you can do with your money. The odds of winning are astronomical. Every time I Play I tell myself “someone has to win, it might as well be me.” I suppose people do win. Thing is I’ve never met anyone that has. That what if feeling is very powerful. Now that I’ve become an adult, I don’t have that feeling as often as I did as a kid. That’s very sad to me. I honestly believe the most people have stopped dreaming and it takes every ounce of energy they have just to get through the day. That’s an awful way to live your life I’m pretty sure it’s not what God intended. If you have something that allows you to dream, I Say keep doing it, as long as it’s not a harmful to you or those around you. I’ll probably never win. I have Dave Ramsey yelling in my head as I type this, and I submit that he’s right. It’s a waste of money. I say if spending a couple bucks every so often helps improve your positive thinking it’s worth wasting the money. Just don’t tell Dave.
Thanks to http://giphy.com/search/finger-wag for the use of their graphic
Like millions of Americans out there who are struggling to better themselves because of the New Year’s Resolutions that they vowed to follow for this year, I too am starting my own strict physical training. By this time next year, I will be known as Super Wheelchair Man.
What would YOUR Super Hero name be?
Seriously though, I bought myself a standing frame. Actually, my insurance bought it, or Santa Claus for all you believers out there. He was a few days late, but I won’t hold it against him. I think I referred to this as a “standing box” in previous chapters. This one is much more sophisticated and modern. Here’s a picture of the box:
Yes i’m standing and yes it hurts
Makes you stronger! Tougher! More Amazing! More Inspiring! Funnier! You may even learn to walk! Comes with Best Friend! Comes with table to put all your crap on while you stand! Apple Flavored *Not Approved by the FDA)
This is me, opening my EZ Stand box:
My ghost writer, who is not a ghost and barely qualifies as a writer, asked me why I would want to torture myself in this way. She even asked me if I was hoping to learn how to walk with this device. I’m guessing she will be the one on the sidelines screaming, “Run, Forrest! Run!”
Most people’s Resolutions:
1. Lose Weight
2. Get Rich
My Resolutions:
1. Learn how to walk. (Not really, just standing would be fine)
All joking aside, I bought the standing frame so that I could improve my overall body strength. This should allow me to be more helpful when I am being lifted into my chair and with the daily tasks of moving my body around. Wow, I sure sound helpless when I say it like that. Thank goodness the EZ Stand comes with a best friend. It doesn’t really. I was kidding.
So I started my writing session today feeling really sore from using the EZ Stand. It is far from easy. Whoever named this chair was obviously someone that can already stand, because if standing isn’t a problem for you then yes, it’s super easy. This device is also entirely unnecessary for you if you can stand, unless you just need an excuse to feel successful and good about yourself by showing how well you can do this piece of exercise equipment. If you are struggling with all of the exercise equipment in your local gym, this might be just the thing for you! EZ Stand!
(I’m really sore today from exercising.) What kind of exercises? (Standing.)
Like I mentioned before, some people find me inspiring. I guess I can add this to my “list of reasons why Jamie is inspiring”.
INSPIRING!
Has a chair with WHEELS!
Sometimes says funny things
Can almost stand with assistance!
Are you inspired yet?
Update
I wrote most of this almost 2 years ago as part of a book that has now been moved to this blog. I’m still standing three days a week. Most of those days I would rather not do it. I think with most exercising it gets easier the longer you do it. This has not been my experience. I’ve made progress, I now stand fully upright more often than not. The pain has not gotten better, in fact I take a physical beating every time I get in the frame. Now it’s more of a mental test. I know it’s going to be awful every time I do it, and I have to find ways just to get it done.
I’m still doing it because I refuse to let the pain beat me and have control over me. Sometimes there’s no easy way to do something, and you just have to have the will not to quit no matter how hard something may be it’s that simple.
Before you read this, let me just say that these are my observations and do not in any way apply to all women.
You’ve been warned
Women are always right. And even when they aren’t right, if they think they are right, then they are. Women also have a way of wording things so that she is right no matter what. If she says she feels like you are ignoring her, there’s no way that can be “wrong”. I’m not trying to be better here this paragraph was written by a woman and rings true based on my experience. That doesn’t mean it is however. Women are complicated and wonderful creatures, that I freely admit are a mystery to me.
Women can change their minds. The wheelchair is a chick magnet. But 6-8 weeks into a relationship, if you speak the words that you find HER attractive, she freaks out. “Spark” means something completely different to the women I have met than what it means to me. I think most women I have met were attracted to me in the beginning. Somewhere along the way most have decided that they would rather have me as a friend then get romantic. In my experience, women have always decided the path of my relationship to them. Meaning, I can find a woman attractive and want to date her. In most cases however the woman has had final say, on whether anything beyond friendship happens or not. I guess this is the way it should be. I’m not gay so I have no idea how this works with gay couples, but I have to think it must be similar. This is not a pity post. This is something I have struggled with in my life. Having a woman look at you and say “I want to be your friend, that’s not enough for you I’m sorry”. Every time this has ever happened to me, I have thought” wait, doesn’t what I want matter” what they want is important also of course, it’s just that the entire process has never seemed very balanced to me. This is probably the one area of my life that I have a little voice in my head saying “I wonder if it’s because of the chair” everyone struggles with self-confidence. I have an almost arrogant belief in myself in every other aspect of my life. I have succeeded with women before, but even after success being “friend zoned” always gets to me.
My point with this post is that we all have kryptonite. I created this blog to motivate and inspire you. So it may seem strange that I would point out my self confidence issue but as the front page clearly states ” we all have issues” how do you deal with them is what matters.
I have female friends that will tell you, I never give up. If I’m attracted to someone it never really goes away. I never get tired of trying to show a woman that I’m worth her time. I think most people give up too soon on the things that they want. I’m not saying you should be a stalker, or that you should get stuck on one person. what I am saying is the phrase “if it is meant to be it will happen” is only true in any situation if you’re willing to put in the time and effort to show that you’re worth it. Doesn’t matter if you’re talking about a potential love interest or a job you want. Everything in life that is worth doing takes time and effort. The amount of time and effort you’re willing to put in before you decide to move on to the next great thing is up to you.
I don’t know how to make myself unavailable. If a friend needs me, I’m there. This may remind you of the movie “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey and Zoey DeChanel, but it’s not like I have a rule to say “yes” to any need from my friends but I am always available to those who are close to me. What do I mean by “close to me”? Many of us are involved in social sites and have a slew of friends on the internet that are associated with us, but not close to us. You know who these people are. I’m a Facebook curmudgeon. I don’t care about the games. I don’t care about people knowing what I’m doing all day every day, and I don’t care about what any of my friends had for lunch. The only part I like about Facebook is the messaging section. There are only about 3 people on facebook that send me messages, but hundreds that post what they ate for lunch that day. The people that send me messages are people that also have my email address and phone number, so there’s no real reason for it for me. We all learned about Facebook suggestions when we signed up. It was like magic. Facebook could find those people that we were connected with at some point or another in life, and re-connect us. Like Montel Williams, only more amazing.
There are the people that Facebook suggested you be friends with because they went to school with you. These suggestions fall into different groups. When I look through the suggestions facebook has for me, I start sorting these people into the groups. Some people fall into the “Oh, I can’t believe I hadn’t added this person before, they are practically my BFF.” Group. Then there’s the people that make me think, “Yes, I should probably add this person, because we were acquaintances in high school.” Then there are the people that I look at and think, “I remember going to school with this person, but did we ever even talk? Did we have a class together?” Then there are the suggestions that everyone dreads. Facebook suggests that you be friends with your ex girlfriend from high school. You know, the one that sliced your tires. Facebook wants you to be friends with the English teacher that flunked you. Facebook wants Batman to be friends with The Joker…since they are both from Gotham. I digress. I have often wondered why Facebook doesn’t have a dislike button somebody should really look into that.. My point is that Facebook gives us the illusion I’ll keeping up with a friendship. What it really does it makes it easier to appear friendly without much effort. In much the same way that texting makes it easier to communicate with a person you’d rather not speak to. I think I just made myself sound really old
I am consistently available for my friends that fall into the category of “closeness”, whatever that means to you.
If you want to have better relationships with your friends, try being available for them. Answer your phone when they call. Everyone knows that most of us have caller ID. And not many people like to leave voice mails.
Journal Entry for December 14th, 2011 – The last few days, I have not felt good at all. When I meet people, I know there is a reason for it. But I have been dealing with someone that I met who doesn’t handle my personality well. She’s one of those people that I instantly clicked with, and if she hops online and wants to hang out with me, I do. The difficult part is that she thinks I’m neglecting something in my life by spending time with her. I almost never say no when I am asked or invited to do something. The struggle in the last few days is that she feels that because I am available for her that I expect her to be available for me. That’s not the case at all. I like to see her and talk to her, and we’ve already discussed that there are times that she will want time on her own. I’ve also been told that I’m overly kind. That I’m so sweet sometimes that it’s sickening. I don’t know how to BE anyone other than who I am.
When we met, she had this mental image of me being a guy in a wheelchair that sits in the corner and drools all day, so I stepped up and showed her my own independence and my personality. But…she likes to be in charge.
Why do I continue to be friends with this woman? I feel that I’m meant to be there for her. I’m right where I need to be right now.
This is something I actually wrote in December 2011. The woman in question was named Patricia, this was near the beginning of our relationship. We had only known each other since August and this is how I was feeling in December. After sometime, she began to trust me. She became part of my family. She met my grandmother and everyone close to me at a family reunion nearly a year later. She was my best friend for three years. We had our issues and as the Journal entry above indicates she was not afraid to tell me when I was in her face. After three years she was taken from me, murdered by her husband September 25th 2014, He also met my family at the reunion they attended. I recently came home from our 2015 Family reunion, it was close to where she lived. If she were alive, she would have been there, and loved every second. I tell this story about a friend I lost because it goes with a post on this blog about my personality and smothering people. The above entry is how Patricia and I started, she found me overwhelming, and was very unsure about me on certain days. By the end of our relationship, I was her best friend, and a vital part of her family. I felt I was supposed to be a part of her life from day one. The point of this post is, never give up on people, Life is short, too short to walk away from anyone who treats you decently most of the time. People today have very short attention spans and even shorter fuses. There were times that Patricia got frustrated with me, or that I got frustrated with her. We spent several months in our relationship not speaking.
I truly wish now that could have the time back. Who knows, we might have changed the the World together. The people you surround yourself with and your relationships, are all that’s important in this world.
She sucked me in from day 1
Do not take them lightly. My relationship with Patricia maybe the secret ingredient to my future success. You never really know how people will influence your life path, It maybe years before you understand how important your relationships were to your success. Take care of them, don’t neglect them, and be thankful for each one you have. They may be moving you toward being the person you want to be.
