I’ve never done the robot on purpose

jj-movement

Living with cerebral palsy is the ultimate guessing game. This cartoon is probably hilarious to anyone that has CP because it’s true. As I sit here writing this blog, a muscle in my left leg is twitching for absolutely no reason. I’m not talking about a small twitch either, I can see it moving. I’m not making it move it’s just doing its own thing. Tomorrow my left leg maybe fine, and my right arm will just refuse to work correctly. I think there are a lots of factors that contribute to my unpredictable body.

I’ve been told that the weather affects everybody whether they realize it or not, if it’s cold outside, my body gets really tight, I might have twitching going on in multiple places. As a rule my body likes warmer weather. If I’m warm and the climate is nice, I have much better odds of having no real anomalies with my body, but if it’s warm and there is rain in the air, my hamstrings might tighten up or they might not, it quite literally depends on the day . I guess I’m the ultimate weathervane.

The unpredictability of my body is hard for those that help me. More times than I can count my dad has been trying to help me put shoes on, and my feet have curled to the point that they are hard to get into a shoe. He normally looks at me and says something like “relax please.” All I can say to him is that I’m trying and that’s truth.

Sometimes my legs won’t straighten enough to put jeans on. When something like this happens, it’s tough on me because they’re quite literally nothing I can do to help. I often feel like a hassle or a burden whether I actually am or not.

My point with this post is not to depress you but to remind you that life is unpredictable. My body is a daily reminder of that for me. The way I deal with it is just to roll with it. If my hands aren’t working, I ask for help  if I need something immediate, and then focus on making them work until they do.

My dad often gets frustrated because I will spill a glass of whatever I am drinking on the floor, simply because my hands decided to have a dance party as I was trying to pick up the glass. I have one particular glass that I love because it’s big. It’s at least 20 ounces and that means I have to ask for refills much less often, (Plus one of my nieces gave it to me have a present, it has a mustache near the top). My dad hates that glass because I spill it fairly often. He says “why not use a glass that’s easier to handle? My answer at least in my mind, is I’m not willing to stop using that glass just because I struggle with it. My logic is that the glass is like physical therapy. As long as I’m not spilling my drink every time I’m picking it up I need to keep using it, because it’s physically good for me to do so.

I repeat Life is unpredictable, just like my body, but you just have to roll with it and keep working through it. If you take shortcuts you might become less able to handle the next thing that comes your way. I feel like there’s at least one fortune cookie in this post. I wonder if I could make money writing fortune cookies?

What’s unpredictable in your life, and how do you handle it?

Give it up for Evie one more time for giving me good material to work with.

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Sometimes I wear more than I eat

jj-food

Like most people, I thoroughly enjoy food. Maybe a little more than I should. I love home cooking,(my mom has a great cook) and I enjoy eating out. Growing up in Texas, a meal is a social experience. Sitting down to a meal with friends or family, is how I learn what’s going on in their lives. I have several friends who love to eat with me, because when I eat I dive in. Apparently. watching me eat is really entertaining.  My body doesn’t always work the way it needs to, so dropping food from my fork happens fairly regularly, especially if I’m busy talking and not paying attention.

It’s rare that I get through meal with a clean shirt, I’m actually surprised if it ever happens. If I’m eating a burger or burrito that I have to pick up, it gets even more fun. I’m not really the kind of guy who eats a burger or burrito plain and dry. There’s not much I don’t like, so when I get something, I get everything on it. My friend Tommy, will routinely hand me my plate and say “good luck” I always manage to get a meal eaten, no matter how messy it looks. Since my personal assistant Jane has been working with me, she is very diligent about using my napkin like a bib, but sometimes I still get stuff on my shirt.

Thing is, there aren’t a lot of people who will tell me if I have food on my face after eating something messy. I always ask people that I’m with, and hope that they don’t lie to me, just to watch me go around in public with mustard on my mouth. Every time a woman smiles at me, I often wonder if she thinks I’m cute or if there is something on my face that I missed. If I ever get my own TV show, one of the first things I will do is take you guys out to eat with me. I’m thinking ribs, all that sauce will make for great entertainment.

As always, thanks to Evie for another fabulous comic

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My Dick Tracy watch has changed my life

jj-watch

Yes I’m old.

I’m old enough to remember Life without smart phones. I didn’t have a computer in my house until 95 or so. Now I use technology wherever I can. I have computers and game consoles, but by far the most useful piece of technology I own is my Samsung galaxy gear Smart watch.

I didn’t own a cell phone until 2014 because my motor skills aren’t the greatest and it would have been nearly impossible for me to hold the phone and use it at the same time like most of you do every day. I’m certain I would have dropped it on a very regular basis. When the galaxy gear came around all of that changed. It allows me to call and text while leaving my phone in my bag. Before the watch, if I decided to go to movie, I had no real way to call someone to come and pick me up when the movie was over. I became very good at figuring out when my ride would need to be there, and letting them know when they they dropped me off.

The thing is, many times I was wrong.  The movie started late or whatever, in this case I would just have to wait. Waiting in front of the movie theater for more than 30 minutes  Is not fun. Every fifth person I saw would ask if I needed help. I would have to say no, just waiting on my ride. I’m not ashamed of my life, but I always thought it was kind of embarrassing to be in that situation as an adult. Now, with the watch I can call or text my ride as needed. The watch also syncs with my calendar, so I never miss an appointment. It has quite literally changed the way that I do things. Plus, it makes me look like a superhero.

The battery is going out on the watch that I have now so it’s time for a new one. If you have one or have looked at one you know they are not cheap. That said, for someone like me who can’t really use a phone without the watch, unless it’s sitting on a flat surface, the watch becomes an absolute necessity. If I didn’t need to charge the battery every day and a half or so, I might not ever take it off. If you have someone in your life who doesn’t use a cell phone for similar reasons, I highly recommend a smart watch. If you would like to donate to the help Jamie get a new watch fund, I won’t argue, just hit the PayPal button. If you guys enjoy these gadget blogs, let me know. it might be fun to do more.

 

Thanks again to Evie for making me look so cool

 

 

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I spend lots of time in the matrix

jj-matrix

I am generally a fairly upbeat person. If you see me on the street, odds are I will have a smile and look like I own the place. As I get older I’m having more and more days that I don’t feel like the king of the world. Stuff just hurts. I think everybody deals with that as we age. If you’re out in public very long you will notice that a lot of people haven’t learned how to fake it.

Some mornings I get up and because of cerebral palsy my body just refuses to work. I have a pretty standard routine, of checking email and doing other things that don’t require much from me physically for the first hour of my morning. I do this because it takes that long every day just to figure out what’s working and what’s not. I’ve had several mornings recently that I have gotten out of bed sore, and my hands just didn’t want to work at all. My body doesn’t work well on a good day, but especially when its cold, things get even worse. I go through my hour routine, and my brain says” just take the day off and go back to bed, everything hurts, and it’s not worth it” I never go back to bed.

I want to. I talk about it a lot, but I never actually do. My reason for this? Life is too short. If I go to bed every time I don’t feel like being up, eventually I would be in bed all day. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So I put a smile on my face, and I force myself to do something productive. Before I know it, the entire day is gone, and I still have three hours of work to do.

To be honest, I didn’t want to write this blog today, but it got done anyway. Why push myself like that you ask? The answer is because I don’t want to allow my body to dictate what I do everyday. I complain more than I should to those close to me(just ask Evie).

She motivates me every day for reasons I won’t go into here. Let’s just say she has struggles of her own, and she’s much tougher than me. Being around someone who won’t even admit they are having a bad day, pushes me not to think about my little aches and pains.

What’s the moral of the story? Your mind is amazing and you can push through lots of bad days, just by telling yourself repeatedly and loudly that everything is going your way, and you will not be stopped.

 

The matrix is what you make it. What you believe and tell yourself you feel, can actually come true.

Test it for yourself. Neo has nothing on you.

Thanks to Evie floor making me look at least as good as Keanu Reeves

 

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I know I’m a rockstar you don’t have to treat me like one

jj-coa

People watch me everywhere I go. I don’t know if they are curious about the chair, or if I am just so good-looking that they can’t help but stare.   I started to notice it in grade school. Nobody said anything really, there was just always someone watching me. As I got older, that changed. I started to notice people whispering and some would even point. Girls talked to me differently than they did the other guys.  Adults while being unsure about me, even scared of me, generally treated me better than they did other kids. At some point I decided if people we’re going to watch me, I would give them something to watch. I learned to become outgoing, and enjoy being the center of attention wherever I am. I’ll never understand why  people don’t just ask what’s on their mind. If you ever see me on the street and have a question please ask it, no matter how stupid you may think it is. I would rather you ask then not. Anyone who knows me, knows I will answer pretty much anything. Nothing is really off-limits

When I was in college, I had a three hour advertising class that I did not enjoy. There was nothing wrong with the class, I just didn’t want to be there most days. The class started at 1 PM just after lunch. One day, I decided to test a theory .

My theory was that I could roll into the class however late I wanted, and no one would say a word, including the professor who was in her first year. For six weeks I took a long lunch and got to class at least a half hour late every time the class met. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t draw attention to myself, I just rolled in, with my drink in hand, and took my seat. The professor never said a single word, never gave me a look, and I got an A for the class. Granted, I did all my work and studied for the tests, but I’m pretty sure anybody else would have been dropped at least a letter grade. I couldn’t have done that with Dr. Leigh she would have thrown me out of the class and told me not to come back.

People like her are people that I respect and don’t want to disappoint, ever. She never saw the chair or saw me as disabled. If she wanted to talk about something, we talked, just like regular people. I very rarely feel like a regular person. Most days I don’t mind it. If I ever get famous I will already be used to the attention. I had a very close friend  I only met once in person.. She was extraordinarily beautiful and she felt like men and other women were constantly judging her for her beauty. We spent two days together. Afterwords she told me on the phone that those two days were extraordinary because for that time, in a long Time She felt invisible. She felt for the first time in a long time that no one was watching her, because every eye was on me. She said in those two days she was more comfortable then she could ever remember being, because she was invisible. Her name was Patricia and you can read about her here

So what’s the moral of the story? Well, people are just people. Disabled, tall short, fat, thin, it doesn’t matter. Be bold and talk to them. you never know what you might find that out. It’s cool being a rock star most days, but just having a conversation with someone is a lot more fun.

A round of applause for another fabulous comic please. Thanks Evie

 

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My friends never ask me to help them move

jj-moving

People never ask a guy that can’t lift anything, and doesn’t drive to help them move. Some point I will have to move and I will probably feel guilty because I have to ask for help. Maybe I can just attach a wagon or a trailer to my chair and do it that way. The chair only does 4 and a half miles an hour. I hope I’m not moving very far, or that would take forever. Can you imagine a caravan of people in wheelchairs with wagons or trailers attached to them helping someone move? That would bring out the whole neighborhood to watch. It would be the slowest move-in history, but it would be entertaining.

Happy Friday everybody.

I wonder if Evie would help me move?

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I love it when a plan comes together

hh-hitop

It may seem a little ridiculous in 2016 but there are only a few tables at most restaurants where someone in a wheelchair can sit comfortably. I’m not complaining, I’m just stating a fact. High tables don’t affect you at all if you’re not in a wheelchair. Most people who eat out are totally able to use them. I was out with my family this weekend for lunch and the table we were seated at didn’t work because it blocked the aisle so that other customers and the waitstaff couldn’t get by my chair.

The waitress did not understand why this was a problem until I demonstrated it to her. The comic today is funny but I’ve actually been in that exact situation many times.

I’m may be in the minority here, but I don’t actually believe that it is a restaurant’s responsibility to plan for every different type of disability. I actually think it’s my job to plan smartly and be able to adapt to any situation. I actually had a woman tell me that she didn’t want to go out with me, because it would take too much planning. It hurt me at the time, but it’s actually true. I very rarely leave my house without a plan. I know what I want to do, and have some idea of the path I need to get there.

It’s very rare that I go into a restaurant with no accessible seating, but it does happen. It’s even rarer still, in that situation that the staff isn’t willing to do the extra work for me to have a comfortable experience. Whether that means moving a table, or actually moving a party that is already seated, I’ve had both happen.

Thing is if I happen to go into a restaurant with no available seating that suits me, finding another restaurant with similar food that I want usually isn’t hard. I usually don’t find it useful to complain at all. When I roll into a room, people already have some idea of what they think of me before I even speak. I don’t think it helps their perception of me if I am rude, or if I let them know that I feel I’ve been discriminated against. In my mind that puts a bigger barrier between them and me then the one that’s already there from the start.

I know that’s probably not a popular position in today’s world. Everyone feels as if they have the right to speak up and be wherever they want to be. That maybe true, but I believe I have to pick my battles every day. If I can’t get into a certain restaurant that’s not really the end of my world. In my experience when you look at life that way, it becomes much less complicated.

Evie would you pass me some pancakes please? Thank you for another fabulous comic.

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I can do anything with a little help

jj-challenges

This post is a day late. I knew I had a great motivational comic in the works and I wanted to wait to post it. When you’re in a wheelchair almost every part of life is different than for a normal person. That’s not a bad thing it just is. I’ve been in this situation as pictured in the comic many times. 9 out of 10 times I’ve gotten to go down that slide with some amazing help from someone else. it is very strange to be independent minded like I am and yet require so much help for things that most people take for granted. The thing about overcoming a challenge is that you can have all the help in the world, but before any of it is useful, you have to be willing to work and do your part. Every challenge I have ever faced I needed someone’s help to overcome it.

I have had people literally carrying me up the ladder of a slide like you see here. This blog is another great example. The writing comes from me but I cannot express to you how much work Evie does on a weekly basis to give me the ability to talk to you. Besides this project she is involved in everything else that I do. Having her with me has changed my life(and I’m not just saying that because I know her mother reads this.) At this point, I don’t start a new project without her, she means that much. If I wasn’t willing to do the work. she wouldn’t want to help nearly as much.

I do get frustrated because I need so much help, I think anyone would, but as a friend of my dad says “Do the best you can with what you got”  I am less afraid now than at any other point in my life to ask for help, but I know I have to be willing to do my part. What challenges do you need to overcome and who can you ask for help? (if you’re a really nice to me I’ll let you borrow Evie but I’ll need her back).

For more on this topic check out The support system

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I didn’t need a go cart as a kid I had a wheelchair.

jj-gocart

It doesn’t matter whether you are in a manual wheelchair or a power chair, to everybody who was walking, it looks like a go cart. I have adults, meaning people over 30, constantly asking if I would like to race,. I think a lot of them were being serious. Then there are the guys who ask if I have ever seriously considered souping up my chair with nitro or something. That probably needs to be a new reality show on cable. Rocket Chairs (working title ).

I’ve had plenty of fun in every chair I have ever owned. I went to summer camp every year when I was a kid. I remember one year in particular, that one of the guys I went to camp with, pushed me to the top of the hill,(it took a lot of work) then at the top, got momentum going and stood on the back of my chair and rode all the way down. We were probably doing 25 miles per hour by the time we hit the bottom. Looking back I could have been seriously hurt, but it was a blast.

I have people in public routinely ask me if I have a license to operate my chair, I have to bite my tongue every time, because it is usually the guy who almost hits three cars on his way into a parking lot that asks me the question. It’s a wheelchair that does 4 miles an hour, not a UPS delivery truck.

I’ve often thought that wheelchair racing should be a sport. You could have each chair sponsored just like NASCAR. A bunch of spastic disabled people racing around a track in supercharged power chairs. I would watch that.

 

A big round of applause for today’s comic please. Thanks Evie. I do have one question though, where is the cat? She couldn’t ride on the back?

 

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Anybody need a ride?

jj-free-rides

Kids love rides they always have. When I was younger, neighborhood kids would hold onto the back of my electric chair on skateboards or roller blades, and I would take them around the neighborhood. Of course when I was younger I never thought about charging a fee, but some of them probably would have paid it. My nieces love to ride. I usually have one standing on the back and another in my lap. If there are other kids around they get them involved as well. Most of the time it’s something that I really enjoy but I do wish that I could charge the occasional kid a fee, I mean after four trips it’s like come on kid aren’t you bored yet?

Adults don’t usually like to ride unless they are in the bar and stupid drunk. Then they ask to ride. It is always kind of sad to me to be the sober guy in the bar, and to know that the woman in my lap who requested a ride around the bar won’t remember anything in the morning, and if the same woman saw me on the street the next day, I’m not someone that she would speak to. I have had sober women take rides before, but it is much more rare. Most sober people believe that I will break or the chair will. Neither has ever happened. Sober people don’t always like my driving however. When you have someone in your lap a straight line is hard to do just saying.

 

A round of applause for Evie please, and the fabulous comic.

 

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