I spoke to a school recently and I had a sophomore in high school ask me if I had ever been bullied. My answer was no. That seemed to surprise everybody in the auditorium. What might be more surprising to you is that it’s true.

Everyone was always nice to me. I don’t know if this is because they genuinely liked me or if they were afraid. I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older that there is a lot of fear out there towards me and the other people with handicaps. Fear of the unknown I guess.

I think one of the main reasons I was never bullied was because I was vocal. If someone had wanted to push me somewhere I didn’t want to go, there wasn’t much I could physically do to stop them. No one ever really tried. I think this is mostly because everywhere I went the authority figures, teachers or older people were always my friends.

If someone had ever tried I would have been very loud and vocal about the fact that I was not a fan of being moved without my permission, and someone around  would have come to my aid. Evie has told me that I am the loudest, most opinionated man she has ever met, bar none. I think most of the people that know me would say the same thing.

I think it comes from the fact that someone in my position has to be able to communicate well because if we are in public there’s a pretty good chance that we will require assistance of some type from others around us. I don’t like it, but that’s just a fact of my life. Because of this, if I don’t like something or don’t want to do something, I’m pretty loud and obvious about it.

I think that’s the key to bullies. You have to make your desires known, and make them known loudly. Preferably to somebody in authority.

I know lots of people, especially young people want to handle their own business, and don’t want to be seen as unable to take care of themselves. If you are one of those young people reading this. Take it from a guy who can’t take care of himself. Like it or not, at some point you are going to have to ask for help from others to be successful.

I truly believe that human beings are not designed to work alone. Maybe that’s just because my circumstances don’t really give me an option to try to work alone. There are many times in my day, whether it’s getting dressed, or going to the restroom, or showering that I wish I didn’t have to ask for help. In each of those situations however, I don’t really have a choice. If you are being bullied, say something. In many cases I promise there is no better choice. You are important, and your opinions and desires matter.

You can take control of every situation that involves you. Sometimes taking control means asking for help. Sometimes you may have to ask more than once. If that’s what it takes then do it. You are in control of what happens to you. If it has already happened, be loud and let anyone who will listen know, so that it doesn’t happen again. You are too important to be bullied, abused or neglected. You are special, and worth it. Take control and let everyone else know it.

I am insanely protective of those who are important to me. You are important to someone, never doubt that. We’ve all been given free will and the ability to take control of our lives however we choose. Don’t lose the remote.

Thank you to Evie for being my partner in crime and helping me to illustrate my stories far better than I could on my own.

Life is hard it just is. I think it’s built that way. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, everyone struggles with something, my something happens to be a wheelchair. I’ve met a few people in chairs(I emphasize the word few) who just take life easy. If something is hard, they get help before even attempting it themselves.

I’ve never been that way. I wish I had the mindset to chill all day and play video games or watch Netflix, because I can. That would be awesome. Unfortunately I have this little voice in my head, that says “there is work to be done” I am not independently wealthy and I don’t think that will voice will go away until I am. I’m going to be really honest here and tell you that I have no idea what my future holds. I’ve always lived with my family and they have been care of me. I’m at an age now where I know they’re not going to be around forever. When my parents are gone, I know I’ll be taken care of but I don’t know to what extent. Consequently that little boys in my head is getting very loud. I’m constantly working, trying to find a way to make money. (that’s part of the reason that there is a donate button on every page of this blog). Most of that goes to Evie by the way. Fancy webpages and art don’t come cheap, and a girl has to eat.

Back to the point. It would be hard for me to go out and get a regular job. Even with my fabulous personal assistant and Jane. So, I work from home. I don’t make all the money that I will need to prepare for my future, but it’s a start.

My mom gets frustrated when people park in handicap parking spaces and they aren’t handicapped, or in front of ramps. I don’t because I figure I’ll find a way to get somewhere, no matter what obstacle it Is in front of me. There’s always away, it may take time find it, but there’s always a way. Believe it or not I found ways to get in to friends houses that had stairs. It wasn’t easy but we did it.

I think that’s the key to getting through the toughness in life. You just have to do it. You have to get up everyday, and face whatever obstacle is in front of you. The only way you can lose and not make progress is to quit. No matter what you’re struggling with Debt, School, relationships, work, whatever it is, the only way you can fail is to quit.

It may not feel like you’re not getting  anywhere for weeks, or months, or years. It may feel like you’re drowning. I’ve been there and it wasn’t so long ago.  When you are in that place all you can do is keep going, I’m pretty sure I have already written a post or two on this topic. I bring it up again today, because I feel that we need to be reminded regularly that we all go through the same stuff and we are not alone.

Here’s my question to you kind reader. What obstacles are you facing in your life, and how do you plan to get over them? Comments please.

Thanks again to Evie for today’s comic.

I know that most of you made New Year’s resolutions. I don’t really because I don’t see the point. You can pretty much say anything, but if you don’t do the work it doesn’t matter. A very smart friend of mine routinely says” under promise and over deliver. I find that this works extremely well in almost every aspect of life. Applying it to my own life, most people don’t expect a lot of me because i’m in a wheelchair.  consequently, when I do something that’s not even really that amazing, I get applauded. (graduating from college is a great example of this).

There were a lots of people in my life who thought I had conquered the world when I graduated. If there are any Young kids out there, going to college is not hard. If you show up every day and put in a reasonable amount of effort, you’ll be doing better than 90% of your classmates, and trust me, you will be rewarded for it.

Back to the original point. If you want to get something done this year. The key is just to start,and take small steps towards where you want to be. I know that I need a book under my belt, and this blog is a small step toward getting there. When I first started writing the book, I would sit in front of the word processor, and be completely at a loss as to what to write. Then Sara came along, and helped me deal with one of my biggest hurdles at that time, the typing. When she got too busy to help me anymore. Evie showed up. After some trial and error. She started this blog, despite my whining. I’ve learned over the last several months , that if I have even a little feedback from readers, it’s much easier for me to continue writing. (my friend Scott Adams calls this creating a system to make it easier to get to where you want to go.) You can read my review of his book right here.

It’s been several months since I read that book, and I’ve had a chance to apply systems to my own life, (this blog being one of them), and based on my experience Scott was right. This is much easier than sitting in front of a word processor, (and much more dynamic). Sometime in the near future, (I have no idea when), I will have enough content here to finally put together the book that I started years ago.

So let’s recap, grand resolutions are hard to keep, (impossible for most of us). So instead create a system that will get you where you want to go. If you want to lose weight, find something you enjoy doing, like taking a walk in the park, instead of going to the gym. If it’s fun you’ll do it better(and the more often) I swear. Working on this blog is fun, so I write more it’s that simple.

Just for fun, tell us what resolutions you have made for 2016 in the comments.  Let’s talk about creating systems instead of setting goals to get you where you want go. Give Evie some props for the fancy artwork while you’re down there. Thank you rock star.

Also thanks to Scott Adams. Go read his book.

Let’s get this out-of-the-way right now. I’m an adult and I believe in Santa Claus. Christmas may be my favorite holiday.I’ve never thought to ask Santa for a body upgrade, but after seeing the comic a couple of days early I added it to my list. (I’ll let you know how it’s working out in a future post).

I love to give and there is just something special about this day. Most important to me is what this day means to me as a Christian. I believe that God has blessed me in more ways than I can even describe, and I I am so thankful.

Know that you are special. blessed with gifts and talents you might not even be aware of. You may not feel it, but trust me there are there.

I am blessed by the people around me. My family, Evie, Natalie and more friends than I can name, Evie doesn’t like for me to talk about her much. The truth is this blog would be nothing without her. She keeps me on my toes, and  is constantly pushing me to create better content.  I’ve always wanted a business partner. It’s no fun taking over the world by yourself. If I am successful at all, it will be because we did it together. Thank you for all your work and all that you do.

If you’re reading this I hope you have support in your life similar to what I have been blessed with. If not, the new year starts in just a few days, and we all get to start fresh. We are going to take a small break, but we will be back January 1 with fresh new content. In the meantime, we have lots of content that you may not have gotten around to reading. Most of it makes sense I promise.

I don’t talk about often, but we do have a donate button on the side of the page if you’d like to give us a Christmas present, and support what we do. No obligation of course. Our content is free and will continue to be for the foreseeable future. If you have ever wondered what the money goes for. It helps me to pay for all the fabulous work that goes on around here. (Points to the comic above).

Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa and whatever else I forgot. (I guess that’s why people say happy holidays) we will see you in about a week. Thanks for reading, if you weren’t reading, there would be no reason for me to write. You make it all worth it.

I’ll admit I probably missed out on a few things in my life, I would have loved to have been able to play sports, but to be honest, the chair is all I know.

When I think about playing sports I can’t really imagine what it would feel like to be graceful enough to do something like that. It would be fun I’m sure but I can’t really imagine having that much ability, and control over my body. I think there is something to the saying “you don’t really miss what you never had”

The only reason I wanted to run up the steps in Philadelphia is because the image of Rocky doing it was etched in my brain at very early age.

Truthfully, the only time I really ever think about not being able to walk or run is when there is an accessibility issue, or I want to dance with a girl. (I have been known to take a girl out onto the dance floor in my lap for a spin). So the chair doesn’t really stop me from dancing,  finding a woman who is open-minded enough to do that           Is rare, but they do exist. I also dance in the virtual world of Second Life from time to time, but I’m kind of picky when choosing my dance partner, and they don’t always say yes. If you want to dance it can be done.

I suppose the same could be said for wheelchair sports, although I’ve never really been interested in trying them. so I can’t speak to that. The moral of the story is, whether it’s a wheelchair, or a loss of a limb, or any other number of things that might seem like a limitation. The only real limitation is whether or not you’re willing to try and find a way around it. If there is no way around it, then find the benefit in it. Are half full or half empty?

This has been Wheelchair Wednesday

Thanks again to Evie for the fabulous comic. Comments are welcome.