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Life in a wheelchair, Motivational

My ego gets big and then I remember I can’t tie my own shoes

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jj-humble

I have never lacked self-confidence. I have spent more hours in my life making plans to be great then I care to admit. World class speaker, a comedian who can fill a stadium, Rock star. You name it, I’ve probably dreamed it. I often think that God gave me cerebral palsy because it was the only way he could thing to keep me in check. If I were able I will be unstoppable. I have a dream everyday, but I also have some unpredictable side effect of cerebral palsy to keep me on earth. Muscle spasms, physical inadequacies or challenges are always there and they don’t play nice.

There’s nothing more humbling in life then realizing you need someone’s help to get to the restroom. It’s a constant reminder that maybe I’m not such a big deal.

I’m not writing this post didn’t complain about all of my issues. I actually think to make the most out of life, you have to be humble. My mom used to say when I was younger, that is my head were any bigger, I would have trouble getting through a door, she doesn’t say things like that much anymore. I think most of the things that keep me humble now, were not issues for me when I was 20. I’ve also gotten smarter and learned to listen to the good people in my life more often. Sometimes I’ll listen and decide to do things my own way anyway, but being humble enough and willing to listen gives me more options and potential for less mistakes. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m old enough now to know the fewer mistakes I can make the better. Having cerebral palsy always reminds me that the most important thing in life is people because I will always need them to survive. I get frustrated often because I need so much help, but I hope in the long run that being humble, and having respect in everything that I do, will lead to a full and prosperous life that I can be proud of when it’s over.

What keeps you humble in your life?

Thanks to Evie for helping me to do so much everyday, including today’s comic.

Comedy, Life in a wheelchair

Not being able to stand occasionally has its perks

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jj-crowda

If it is not obvious by now, I don’t stand a lot. If I do, it’s only with major assistance and it usually hurts. It’s always interesting to go to a church service or some other event where people are asked to either stand or go to their knees and pray. I can’t do either, if I ever got down on my knees it would literally take a crane to pick me up. When I am in an event like that, it’s the ultimate “look it me” moment, when every other person in the building is asked to stand. I am not opposed to look at me moments, I have this blog after all. That said, I often wonder what other people are thinking as they stand around me. If it’s a church service or graduation I imagine people think “man I would love to be him, how many more times are they going to ask us to stand?” At something like a rock concert the situation is similar to what you see in the comic. Most people just don’t care. Mostly because they are completely unaware that I’m sitting behind them. I can’t complain too much because I have had bad seats before and been pushed up to the front row because someone saw I was getting robbed, or at least perceived the situation that way. I’ve never had a cat standing on my head but I have been at a music event where I could see absolutely nothing. Then when I made it to the front row, I realized I hadn’t missed much.

I’m probably getting old, but front row is a really bad place to be at a concert, I loved it when I was a kid, but as I age I value my hearing. I think that’s mostly because I live with my dad who can’t hear anything and doesn’t realize it, I don’t want to be that. As I have gotten older I have learned to get the best available accessible seats, even if they are  a few bucks more. I would like to have great seats at a Dave Matthews band concert. It’s fun to watch those guys play, I’ve been twice and wasn’t close enough either time to even begin to see their faces. I also have to give them credit, both of their shows that I have seen were played outdoors and at a very reasonable volume.

As for getting down on my knees in a church service, I truly believe that God has a sense of humor. It has to be pretty funny to see you almost people on their knees or standing multiple times for long periods, and then there’s this kid just sitting there enjoying his seat having a peaceful enjoyable service. That’s irony folks.

 

Be honest. Have you ever considered renting a wheelchair for an event that you knew you would have to stand for a while? I will gladly rent mine out for the very reasonable rate of $150 an hour. Wheelchairs ain’t cheap folks. Your feet will thank you later.

Thanks again to Evie for showing so accurately exactly what it’s like to be me.

Life in a wheelchair

You call this accessible?

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jj-accessible

 

I am a fairly easy going guy. I don’t really complain about the lack of ramps or parking when I’m out and about. The way I think about it is that it’s not really that hard on me if I don’t have front row parking and a ramp that is blatantly obvious. My mom gets very upset when someone parks in front of a ramp. My response is usually “I’m pretty sure there’s another one, don’t worry” I try to get into that person’s shoes who is parked in front of the ramp. Every time I do, I come away with the same conclusion. Put very simply, if I wasn’t in a wheelchair or around somebody everyday who was, I would probably do the same thing. Occasionally there is not another ramp and those people are always very kind when I ask them to move. Probably because they are more than a little embarrassed. The area of accessibility that I struggle with as restrooms. It doesn’t matter if it’s a restaurant or a hotel chain, everyone has a different idea what makes a restroom accessible. I have stayed in nice hotels before where the restroom door was too small to get my chair into and the room was classified as “accessible.” If I can somehow find a way to  get into the restroom there was a metal bar next to the toilet that I could hold onto. This is some people’s idea of making a restroom “accessible.” On the other hand, I have stayed in cheap hotels where the restroom door was big enough to drive a truck through and the restroom was almost as big as my actual hotel room.

I hear you saying to yourself “why doesn’t he keep track of hotels with the accessibility he needs and just stay there all the time, no matter where he goes? The answer, because every single hotel from city to city is radically different when it comes to accessibility. I can stay at comfort Inn in Oklahoma City, with a fabulous bathroom, roll in shower and the whole nine yards. If I go to Dallas and stay at a Comfort Inn the restroom might have all the same stuff but in a room the size of a shoebox, with a 26 inch door that my chair can’t roll through. Put very simply, you never know what you’re going to get.

I talk to people all of the time and when this issue comes up I often hear “it has to be accessible right?” The American’s with disabilities act has to be followed. Well, technically that maybe true, but I think there is a lot wiggle room as to what is accessible according to the ADA, at least this is what I found in my experience. Anyone who has ever broken their leg or had any injury where  they were confined to a chair for a short time, probably knows exactly what I’m talking about. I hear “man I had no idea” quite often. I think the reason accessibility is so subjective is because the people putting in accessible doors and ramps are able-bodied people who may not necessarily take things like arm strength, into consideration. They may think if a door is easy for them to open it must be easy for everyone.

I understand that it’s complicated because wheelchairs come in all different shapes and sizes. You can’t account for everything. That said, I’m pretty sure every wheelchair ever made will fit through 36 inch door. I’ve often thought since I got out of college that I shouldn’t really need to find a job because I would be the ultimate accessibility test, and I should get paid to consult with companies all over the world. Maybe that’s just a dream, but I think it would be fun.

What’s the worst example of accessibility you have ever seen?

Thanks to Evie for giving me another great comic to work with. I often wonder if this situation came up and she was with me, what her plan B might be?

Life in a wheelchair, Motivational

Would you like some fun with that?

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jj-drivethrough

When I was in college and on the radio in the mornings, I actually went through a McDonald’s drive-through in my wheelchair. One of cohosts on the show actually walked beside me to see the whole thing unfold, while talking to the listeners on a cell phone. That was maybe the most fun I ever had on the morning show.

The McDonald’s employees weren’t happy with me. I actually think I might have been banned from there for about six months. I had a car, it was just parked down the block. We just wanted to see what what happened. No real reason for doing it other than the fact that it was entertaining. So what’s my point with this post? Have fun, put yourself out there and see what happens. This was not the only crazy thing I did on the radio. I dressed up as Cupid for Valentine’s Day one year(that’s a whole other story) my reason for doing all that was because it was fun. My cohosts and my bosses were initially worried that I might be offended by putting myself in those types of situations where my wheelchair was the focus. I wasn’t. I had a blast and I would do it all again. I haven’t had nearly as much fun since I got out of school. I have several really enjoyable projects on the horizon that I will tell you about later, that may remedy that situation. Life is what you make it stand out and enjoy it.

What’s the craziest thing you have ever done just for fun?

Evie doesn’t even blink when I tell her the stories anymore. I think she’s becoming desensitized to my nuttiness. Best Vice president ever. Did I mention that she has a new website? Go check it out.

Motivational

Being different is a gift use it

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jj-different

I’m different. There’s no way to hide it or disguise it. I Also can’t change it. Every so often I think about what I miss out on because I’m different. Not being able to play sports, drive a car, go to bed when I choose, or 1 million other things that normal people take for granted every day. Most of the time however, I really like being me. I have some advantages that most of you never will. I got my education paid for because I have cerebral palsy. No student loan debt for this guy. Living with my parents seems like a real drag, but it has allowed me to save money and given me time to formulate my plan for taking over the world. I’ve never had a real job. This makes finances unpredictable sometimes, but it also means that my time is my own. I don’t answer to anyone. I’m single and I get lonely sometimes. I used to think I wanted a wife and family, but as I get older I’m starting to understand that unlike most people I’m in control of my own destiny.

When I come up with the million dollar idea that finally pans out, my life will be my own. I’m free to follow my dreams and be who I want to be. I am not there yet mind you, I have to remind myself on a daily basis that there is a plan and my time is coming. One thing that my freedom allows me to is to work with a person like Evie. I don’t know if you can tell or not from the way that I write, but Evie and I truly enjoy working together. We have some ideas that I won’t go into here, because we are not ready to unleash them on the world just yet, but we wouldn’t even have the ability to dream the way we do if we had “normal lives” I love cartoons and comic books and video games. I love to be creative. I love to give to people, sometimes I buy someone a gift on a random day just because I can. I get to act different because I am different. My life and circumstances will never be normal. At this point, I think I would be disappointed with normal. I sort of see myself as Bruce Wayne, (yes I know I haven’t made the money yet, but I will totally have a Batcave under my house).

I have to be honest and say that I didn’t have this attitude about being different until fairly recently. For most of my life, I have wanted the things that most people have. Recently I realized I can have things and freedom that most people only dream of, because my life is different. I have to tell you that being aware of the fact that my life is different and because of that I can be different is very empowering. When I was in high school I remember teachers and guidance counselors saying things like ” you can be anything you want to be” if there are any kids out there reading this, I’m here to tell you that it’s actually true. I’m not quite where I want to be yet, but I still have time to get there because my life is my own. Being different allows you to make your own rules. If I had realized that in my teens, there’s no telling what I could have accomplished. Life can be whatever we want it to be. We have all been given the ability to choose our own path, and spend our lives in the way we see fit.

If you haven’t lived your life your way, you can start today. There is still time.

 

How will you be different? What will you do?

Thanks to Evie for helping me share my crazy different life with you and for being my vice president in my efforts to take over the world.

If you like what we’re doing here, you can support our work by sharing this blog or by donating using the PayPal button on the right side of the page, your support is greatly appreciated.

 

Comedy, Life in a wheelchair

It takes work to be this pretty

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jj-hygiene

As I get older I’m getting picky about my appearance. I want to be well-dressed, shaved, and look like I’m ready to take on the world. I like the idea that I could meet someone on the street and pitch them my next great business idea and have confidence that I don’t look like I just came from the gym and need a shower.

Appearance isn’t everything. In the United States today,  too much emphasis is put on appearance. That said, we’ve all heard that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. I have no interest in looking like George Clooney or Brad Pitt, but I do think it’s important to make an effort, especially in business. As the old saying goes” look good, feel good, play good. I’m going to tell you guys a little secret about Evie. She works from home and she has told me that before she starts work every morning, she puts on her shoes. When she told me that I didn’t really understand. I mean, if you work from home why wear shoes? Isn’t that one of the major perks of working from home? Then she told me that putting on her shoes puts her brain into work mode. You wouldn’t go to your office without shoes would you? Don’t answer that, some of you might.

With all of this in mind getting ready for the day is a little different for a guy with poor motor skills. My mom and sister both have long hair. My brother also did one point. He gives me a hard time on a very regular basis because I have a great head of hair but I keep it extremely short. Why? The answer is simple, if it is short, I don’t have to style it. no hair gel needed, most of time I don’t even have to use a comb. If I do choose to style my hair, someone in my life has to help me. It’s really nice not to have to ask someone to help me put my rockstar hair in a ponytail. Same applies with shaving. I can grow a great beard. I’m talking about a beard that would make a lumberjack jealous, and honestly it would be easier to let my beard grow then worry about shaving it, but if you’ve ever had one, you know they itch. Every time I grow a beard, I seriously start and wonder if I have fleas in there.

Obviously, a guy who has muscle spasms, whose body moves unpredictably, doesn’t need to be shaving with a razor. Every time I use one my dad has to help me. I really enjoy the feeling of a clean shave, but it’s just not practical to have him help me everyday. So I use an electric razor instead. It doesn’t do nearly as good of a job, and I still have to use a blade every so often to keep things under control. (yes I am in fact it werewolf).  All that said, it’s better then slitting my own throat.  At the barbershop where I get my haircut, we have a running joke that one day I’m going to bring a TV crew with me and get behind a chair and offer haircuts. With each customer I’d say something like ” I’m really sorry my hands are shaking, I forgot to take my meds this morning.” Or if I slip and make a mistake, don’t worry, one of the other barbers will fix it” if I really want to scare someone, I could bring out a straight razor and say “I only cut the last customer three times, this is great physical therapy for me” I don’t think I would last very long and that job.

What do you do to make getting ready in the morning easier on yourself?

Evie has nailed it again folks. Check out more of her art at http://singergirl.com/home/art/ 

If you are enjoying what we’re doing here, please consider donating by using the PayPal button on the right side of the page.

Life in a wheelchair, Motivational

If clothes are necessary why can’t they be easier to put on?

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jj-gettingdressed

I need a lot of help getting dressed. I can put on her shirt if I need to. Tt may take a half-hour, but I can get it done. I can take a shirt off like a champ. Again, it takes a bit of time but not near as much as putting a shirt on. Pants are a different story. Again, I can get them off if I have to(ladies there is probably a joke in there somewhere about no man that God ever made having a problem taking his clothes off) I really   hate to admit, but taking them off is much easier,(and more fun then putting them on. Same deal with shoes, I can catch my shoe on the edge of the foot rest on my chair and get it off. If you have little children you may have to help them get dressed, but they have no problems taking their clothes off. Then they will certainly need help tying their shoes, but you need a GPS locator to keep track of them in public. I don’t wear slip on shoes for that exact reason, they come off too easily. Think of me in that way, the only difference between me and them is that I’m 37 with facial hair.

Getting dressed every day is something that I struggle with mentally. I have the brain and body of an adult, but it works so poorly that I have to have help dressing just like a young child. That’s tough to deal with. What tougher, is that I’ve had physical therapists my entire life, and none of them have never found an easy way for me to help myself. It seems like I always have someplace to be or is there some sort of time crunch, so taking an entire day to try and figure out how best to dress myself has never been an option. Not to mention taking several months to actually get good at it. My family helps me everyday with everything that I need. They have trouble watching me try to learn how to do something simple like put on pants. After some time passes, I often hear “just let me help you”

I’ve never even seen a good way to put on pants for someone in my situation I know people must do it, but given my physical shortcomings, I have never really figured it out.  I feel like I need some futuristic device from a science fiction TV show, that I can roll my chair into and get help dressing while a pleasing female voice helps me decide exactly what I want to wear. I have to admit I don’t work nearly hard enough at trying to figure this stuff out. My closet and clothes are not easily accessible to me, I’m always going somewhere, and time is always a factor.

I have been known to put my head through the armhole of a T shirt so not even that is an exact science. All of that said, let me tell you a little secret, all of the things I mentioned above are excuses. We all use them. You may not have trouble getting dressed, but I bet you have trouble getting motivated to work out, or eat healthy, or make better use of your time(I’m struggling with that right now) the key to all of those things that are tough is just to do it. Decide for yourself that you’re going to work on it. I may never be able to completely dress myself, but I know I can do more than I’m doing now. If I ever get a TV show I wonder if I can get a cheerleader or two to cheer me on as I try and solve the mystery of putting on pants. Now that’s entertainment.

So what do you struggle with? Are you willing to do the work to improve yourself? Even if you never reach your ultimate goal?

I’m really starting to wonder if Evie have cameras in my house… Yet another example of awesome artwork. Thank you

Life in a wheelchair

I remember you, just not right this second

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jj-remember

I have a friend who says I can’t go out in public anywhere without meeting someone who knows me. In high school I was the one guy out of 1500 kids in wheelchair. In a situation like that, you are extremely hard to miss. In college there were two or three people on campus in chairs. Once again, all of the other 7000+ students knew who we were, if they didn’t, they weren’t paying attention. Add in the fact that I have a big personality, am open with everyone, and you understand why I have always been a minor celebrity.

To this day my mother will go to the grocery store and run in to someone who says “you’re Jamie’s mom” my mom has really learned how to roll with it, she’s great with people. It’s not a bad thing people remembering you, but every so often I don’t remember them. They come up and say “you’re Jamie. You haven’t changed at all, do you remember me?” Sometimes, I admit that I don’t. Most of the time I ask them what they’re doing, what’s going on in life and do my best to figure it out. I’ve often thought that everyone should wear name tags. The problem there is, most people are like me and have really bad handwriting. I can write something down and have no idea what it says five minutes later. Does anybody else have a problem? We have all gotten so spoiled with computers that no one really has  good penmanship anymore.

It’s not so bad unless I call somebody by the wrong name, I hate that. On the other hand, people routinely call me by another name Jimmy, James, it happens a lot. I don’t really get offended by it I just answer to whatever they call me. I know that even though they may not get my name exactly right, they know they’re talking to. The part of the conversation that you have with someone you haven’t seen in a while that bothers me is the “so what are you doing now icebreaker.” People look at you kind of funny when you tell them you are self-employed and work on the Internet. They have kids and lives and whether they’re good or not, people are always ready to tell you what they have been up to.

That’s the key in the conversations for me. Most people just want to talk about what’s going on their lives. So, I do my best to listen and explain how i’m trying to make money writing a blog, without sounding like a loser.(That’s really hard). Normally after seeing someone I haven’t seen you in a while, I’m very thankful for my life, for the way things have turned out. I have to admit, it really is nice to be  memorable. The fact that I am makes me think I must be doing something right. At some point, someone is going to invent an app where you can discreetly take a picture of someone’s face as they’re talking to you and the app we will feed you information and remind you who this person is. That’s a scary thought.

What is the most clever way you have  figured out who someone is? Gotten a peek at their drivers license? Were they wearing a name tag from work? Let us know in the comments.

This girl named Evie did the art. She’s unforgettable. Give her a round of applause folks.

 

Motivational

Doubt me I dare you

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jj-brain

I’m going to admit something. When I was little I used to drool…. A lot. As an adult I’ll admit that it happens even now, if I get excited. I hear you saying to yourself “I’m in a fully functional adult and I have issues with drooling somedays. it happens to everybody, it doesn’t mean he’s not smart.” This is true, but add in the fact that I have somewhat slurred speech, limited motor skills, and I sit in a wheelchair. Most people think I’m lucky just to be alive. At first glance, I guess I can’t really blame them. Everybody says don’t judge a book by it’s cover but we all do it. I see a handicapped person on the street, and my first thought is “man that’s got to suck” and then I roll past a mirror and remember I am in the same boat. I think it’s human nature. The difference with me is,  when I see That person on the street I never doubt their mental capacity not for a second.

I don’t live in their shoes and I have no idea what they are capable of. If anything, when I see someone on the street like me, I wonder if they are living up to their potential, most probably aren’t, I’m not even sure I am.

I don’t mind when someone who doesn’t know me doubts my mental ability because it’s fun to prove them wrong, and most time I do. The best part is the looks on their faces when someone walks up and speaks to me like two years old, and 15 minutes later, I’m fixing their computer problems.

My family never doubts me mentally, they can’t. They live with me, and fully understand how my mind works. Where they sometimes struggle, is in their ability to understand how exactly I’m going to get something done. My absolute favorite example of this was my first day of college. My mother dropped me off, and insisted on following me to class. When I said no, her response was” how are you going to get your books out? How will you get notes? How will you get lunch? What if you need to use the restroom?” So she sat in my first class. When the class was over, I didn’t know the answer to any of her questions. I simply looked at her and said “I don’t know but I will figure it out, I love you but you have to go”

My dad has the same problem when I’m working on something new. I call him Mr. what if. He has a zillion what if questions. It took me a while to understand why my family reacted to me in this way. I finally understood that they have faith in me. They just don’t want me to fail or be disappointed. It’s frustrating sometimes that I have to continually prove myself especially to my family. As I get older I’m learning that surprising people every day just means I’m continually getting better and pushing myself. If I just sat in a corner and drooled, like most people expect, I might have a less stressful life but I’m pretty sure I’d be bored out of my mind.

Do people underestimate you, and do you work to prove them wrong?

Thanks into Evie for another fabulous piece of art

Comedy, Life in a wheelchair

I am impaired and I haven’t had a drop to drink

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jj-dui

I don’t know anybody who likes the sound of their voice. I didn’t realize for a long time that there was anything different about mine for a long time. I remember calling into a radio station when I was younger to make a request. The first thing the DJ said was “are you drunk?” When I said no his response was “yeah right” just before he hung up on me. I used to have a friend who worked at a church. I would call there pretty often and ask his secretary to put me through. One day when he answered I asked him why he was laughing. He said that when the secretary buzzed she said “it’s that drunk guy again.” When I was on the radio in college I always got lots of call ins. One morning, a guy called into the morning show, and said to my co hosts “it’s 6 AM, is that guy drunk from the night before? That guy has now been my friend for almost 15 years since that call. I didn’t realize at the time, but I probably got more than a few listeners because they truly wanted to know if I was wasted on air.

I do drink, but not often, I never have. To be honest, I have never really understood the concept of drinking for the purpose of getting drunk. My body is hard enough to deal with when I’m sober, I have no interest in  adding to my issues with too much alcohol. I’m sure there was a party or two that I had too much, luckily I don’t drive so everything turned out okay. Truth is, God gave me all of the deficits of being drunk with none of the enjoyment. I can’t stand or walk, my motor skills are impaired, and I slur my speech, especially when I’m tired. If that’s not absolute proof that God has a sense of humor, I don’t know what is. When I was in school I went to speech therapy voluntarily for three years because I wanted to become a better broadcaster. I wanted a clearer sound, and I wanted to be more understandable. The therapy improved my speech but people who don’t know me will still ask if I am drunk on the phone. Evie can always tell when I have had even a little to drink, I’m not sure how she does that. It must be really funny to listen to.

It doesn’t bother me. I’m a comedian so every time it happens it just gives me more material. My friends often joke that if I ever got drunk enough my motor skills might improve, and perhaps I could walk. I seriously doubt that will happen, but it’s a fun thought. I just hope if it turns out that I can walk, that someone gets it on video. I would really want to see that.

Do you think you have ever mistaken a handicapped person for someone who was wasted on the phone? You might be surprised.

Happy Friday everybody. Please give Evie a round of applause